


the moment,

by hotnerdcombeferre



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Muggle, Alternate Universe - Olympics, Anxiety, Marauders' Era, Multi, Panic Attacks, Slow Build, Slow Burn, figure skating, figure skating AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-05-28 19:14:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15055895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotnerdcombeferre/pseuds/hotnerdcombeferre
Summary: She watched as Alice teared up on the podium, and as Frank sang the British National Anthem at the top of his lungs as the arena raised Great Britain’s flag, gold hanging around the duo’s necks.There was quite the celebration when the pair came home; Lily had stared in awe when Alice showed her the gold medal for the first time. Holding the medal in her hands, tracing the detailings with her finger, it was heavier then she had imagined it being.--In which Lily Evans is an aspiring Olympic Figure Skater from a small skating club, and James is the captain of their towns local hockey team, who happens to be intruding on the King's Cross Skater's ice time.





	1. prologue, 1975

**Author's Note:**

> (Story is set in the 70s so canon Marauders Era but I'm gonna be real I have no idea what figure skating was like in the 70s, so I'm gonna try to use a mixture of 2018 and 1970's and cross my fingers.  
> I don't know anything about hockey, either way, so that will probably be wrong whether or not I go by the 70's or modern rules)

**Richmond, London. British Figure Skating Championship, 1975.**

_“Leave me alone Severus!”_

Sixteen years old wasn’t really that young of an age to be senior debuting. She had to convince her Mother of that all of last year, though perhaps it would have saved her the humiliation if she had only listened.

Lily Evans continued to walk, as quickly as her skates would let her to the girls change room, knowing that Severus would have to leave her alone there instead of following her like a puppy with his sad eyes ever since she got out of the Kiss & Cry. There was certainly no kissing after that performance, though Evans did well not to cry either, and was managing decently enough until Severus ambushed her. His stupid face, his _stupid_ eyes full of _pity,_ that is what she really couldn't stand. The pity. It's not like he did any better, he didn't qualify either. But he certainly didn't perform as poorly as she did. His senior debut wouldn't be tainted with a Free Program, where not a single jump was landed.

She had never seen a score so low.

She may have cried a little at the Kiss & Cry.

She flung herself onto the bench and threw her skate guards off, and started pulling at her skate laces, before giving up and shoving her face in her hands, letting herself cry. Her body shook, Lily pressing her hands against her face, almost as if she could shove the tears back into her eyes. She tried taking deep breaths, knowing the dressing room wouldn't be empty forever, the last heat probably hadn't even skated yet but sooner or later another girl would show up for her bags. She pushed that thought from her mind, squeezing her eyes shut and pushing her head towards her knees. She wasn't sure how long she was there for, her head starting to ache from the intensity of her emotions, still, her breath wavering with tears though she wasn't ready to leave.

“Evans?”

Lily instantly stiffened. She hesitated, maybe if he kept her head down and ignored whoever it was they would go away.

“Evans?” The owner of the voice was closer now and Lily recognized it. She slowly rose her head, aware of the state she probably looked in and wiped her nose.

“You’re not really supposed to be in here,” Lily said her voice quiet, "This  _is_ the ladies changing room." 

“I suppose not, but they were wondering where you were, Alice is off in the bathroom and I figured I knew where you went once they said you were missing, and, well, here you are.” Frank Longbottom looked at her gently, putting down his sports bag and squatting to be face to face with Lily. He was older, by almost four years, a nineteen-year-old Ice Dancer from the same small-town skating club. They didn't talk much, Frank being so much older but he had always been a nice guy, quite brotherly, and Lily often carpooled to competitions with him and his Ice Dance partner, Alice Fortescue.

“Here I am,” Lily said, toughening her voice, trying to busy herself by finishing pulling off her skates, digging through her bag for her shoes.

“I know it’s rotten,” Frank started, “And you’re allowed to be upset, but don't dwell on it, Evans.”

“It was humiliating,” Lily said her voice wavering slightly but she quickly swallowed back any tears.

“No one’s senior debut isn't Lily.”

“The short program went so well, and it’s an Olympic year I just thought-”

“Lily," Frank said, quickly cutting off that train of thought,  "you weren't going to make the Olympics this year, you’re fifteen and barely a senior, you weren’t even skating in the last heat.”

“I’m considered sixteen for this season.” Lily corrected bitterly but fell silent, knowing he was right.

Frank sighed, gently touching her back “Just don't hang onto the fact that it’s an Olympic year, it isn't _your_ Olympic year, not yet Evans.”

Lily sniffed and nodded, appreciating his words, and to be honest was a bit worn out from the day. She had exhausted herself. 

“Go on and get changed, we’re going to try and wrap up as soon as the ladies medal ceremony is over,” Frank said, standing up.

Lily nodded again glancing at her bag before looking at Frank, “Where’s your medal?”

Frank paused before gesturing to his bag, “It always feels weird wearing it after the ceremony is over.”

Lily gave a small smile, “You should wear it, rub it in those Walpurgis kids faces.” She half-joked, Frank, smirking a bit at that. The Walpurgis Skating Club kids weren't all that bad though, after all, Severus skated there. “Congratulations,” She said genuinely, “this is going to be a good year for you two.”

“We’re just excited to be going. I never really thought we would get to.” Frank admitted before adjusting his bag. This would be the first year Ice Dance would be included at the Olympics, announced at the beginning of the season, it had been a long time coming in Lily's opinion. “Hurry up, I’ll wait for you out there, watch for that annoying little friend of yours,” He said before quickly exiting the girls change room. Lily laughed a bit at that, before grabbing her sports bag and pulling out a change of clothes, quickly pulling off her skating costume and swapping it for a comfortable sweater and sweatpants. Pulling her shoes on she closed her eyes for a moment taking a deep breath, she knew Frank was right.

“C’mon Evans, I’m getting some weird looks standing out here,” Frank called, his voice echoing through the nearly empty changeroom.

Lily cleared her throat grabbing her bag, and shuffling her feet, trying to fit her heels into her sneakers as she left the changeroom, greeting by an arm around her and instantly being led down the hallway.

“Don’t look now, but I imagine he’s been there this whole time,” Frank said glancing down at Lily.

Lily paused before quickly looking behind her, meeting eyes with Severus instantly; who looked as though he was ready to follow them right out of the arena and into their car, she quickly turned away.

“You want me to tell him to clear off, cause I will. Or better yet Alice, she’s much more intimidating than I am.” Frank said with a grin, “Don’t tell her I told you that though.”

Lily smiled at that, “He’s not all bad.” She said.

“You’re just kind Evans.”

As they walked down the hallway, they heard Augusta Longbottom before they saw her.

“Crap.” Frank said under his breath, Lily looking up at him with amusement.

Augusta Longbottom ran a tight shift at the skating club, being quite the micromanager and while exhausting for all of the students, paid-off nicely when it came to their technical scores. In her twenties, she was a well-renowned skater, a National and World Champion, though she truly enjoyed her retirement from amateur competition and her career as a coach. Before starting her family she travelled, coaching from singles to ice dance, however, she settled down in Derby, where she had Frank, and started the King’s Cross Skating Club with her husband, initially a large club though through the years losing many members, and now with very few competitive skaters, her only seniors this year being her son and his partner, and Lily herself. She had been coaching Lily since she was nine, and Frank practically since birth. This would be Frank and Alice’s tenth year skating together. The last Lily had seen her was at the Kiss & Cry, where she gripped Lily’s hand so hard she thought it would break. Currently, though, Augusta was crushing Alice in her arms, though this time with joy.

While the older woman wasn’t usually so affectionate, she had always been quite tactile. Never was afraid to grab you and readjust your arms or legs or posture on or off the ice. Frank pulled away from Lily, stomping towards his mother, “Mum, you’re smothering her.” He complained.

“Hush!” Augusta said before turning back to Alice, “I’m so proud of you my dear.” She said, pulling her closer.

Alice laughed a bit, mostly at Frank, “Thank you. This might be the only opportunity we get.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, it was about time to include ice dancing in the Olympics, and once they see you in Austria they would be foolish to retract it,” Augusta said.

“Mum!” Frank said, glancing around hoping no one was listening, perpetually embarrassed by his mother.

“ _Hush!”_ Augusta snapped again looking over, “Oh, Lily.” She said pulling away from Alice and moving to Lily, grabbing her in her arms. “Don’t you worry my dear,” She said, much less solemn then she had been before, “Nerves get the best of all of us, and there was just so much pressure my darling.” She said, “We will be prepared next year.” She said taking Lily’s hand before starting to march for the doors.

Alice laughed, presumably at something Frank said as the two held back walking a bit slower behind Lily and Augusta.

“Come along you two we don’t want to get stuck in the traffic,” Augusta called back as she dragged Lily along.

The ride back to Derby from London was 2 hours, a _long_ 2 hours. Frank and Alice quickly claimed the backseat, not to the surprise of Lily though. Whenever they carpooled the pair commonly took the backseat, for the especially early morning competitions they would even bring pillows and lean against each other. Augusta talked Lily’s ear off the whole way home about the rest of the season though at some point she must have dozed off because the next thing she knew, Augusta was gently waking her as they sat parked outside of Lily’s house.

_“We’ll see you soon dear.”_

Lily stood on her doorstep watching the Longbottom’s car pull away and drive off before digging through her bag for her house key.

It was late, most of the lights except a lone light in the kitchen. Dropping her bag by the stairs Lily peered through the doorway, seeing her Mother, with a cup of tea and a book, her reading glasses on her nose. She noticed her daughter in the doorway and greeted her with a warm smile. “I didn't hear you come in.” She said, drawing Lily into her arms, “Quiet as a mouse you are.” She said fondly.

Lily inhaled her mother’s scent, lingering in the warm embrace.

“Can I make you a cup?”

Lily nodded against her Mother’s chest before releasing her, moving to get the kettle.

“Just relax, sit down you must have had a long day.” Mrs. Evans said, grabbing the kettle and starting to fill it with water, “We’ve heard the news of Alice and Frank, really quite spectacular.” She said, “It was really about time anyways, I never understood the reasoning behind the exclusion of ice dance.” She went on, “How was your skate though tell me all about it darling.” She said putting the kettle on.

Lily sat quiet, trying to resist more tears, she had already had it out today and she needed to stop feeling sorry for herself, and her chat with the two Longbottom’s had helped take her mind off of the day's events but sitting with her mother she felt the lump in her throat reforming.

“Lily sweetheart?” Mrs. Evans asked when her daughter didn't answer, turned to find Lily trying, though failing to hold back tears. Mrs. Evans moved to Lily’s side putting a hand on her daughters back, face full of concern. Once Lily explained with a sad shaky voice what happened Mrs. Evans moved to pull Lily into another hug, letting her cry against her, Mrs. Evans whispering small comforts to her while stroking her back until she calmed down.

It had been a long day.

Mrs. Evans restarted the pot of tea, Lily quite exhausted though Mrs. Evans refusing to let her sleep without a cup of tea. Pouring them both a cup the two redheads sat at the table, talking softly over their mugs. It was nearly 1 AM by the time Lily crawled into bed under the covers. She looked up at her ceiling, her room dark she was alone with her thoughts. No more tears to cry though, Lily closed her eyes, letting the exhaustion of the day wave over her. Determination being the last thing on her mind before she fell asleep; this could never happen again, and she had four years until she had another chance to make up for it.

She wouldn't let it happen again.


	2. the rostelecom cup pt.1, 1976

**Derby, England. Figure Skating Off-Season, 1976**

_“You are being absolutely ridiculous Mother.”_

The Olympics had come and gone, and Lily Evans watched them on her small television box in the living room while her sister Petunia complained about the volume being too loud. Lily ignored her though, trying to immerse herself into the fuzzy screen, watching the other athletes with admiration, _longing_ to be there with them.

Frank and Alice performed beautifully, earning the top score in the Original Dance, which was unheard of for a debut team, pushing past the Americans before the Free Program, neck in neck with the Soviet Union. Lucius Malfoy and Adelaide Dolohov, the other Ice Dance duo from Great Britain weren’t so lucky. Dropping Dolohov during a lift in the OD cost them and had them dropping them down to 7th place. The duo was from the Walpurgis Skating Club but their less than thrilling performance came as no surprise, Dolohov only joining the team a year earlier when Andromeda Black, Malfoy ’s previous partner of 8 years, quit mid-season.

It all came down to the Free Dance. Frank and Alice skating first, finishing with their season’s best skate, leaving Lily holding her breath as the Soviet’s took the ice. Biting the inside of her cheek while she waited for the scores to be announced, and jumping out if her seat and cheering, when by a close margin, Frank and Alice took the gold. She was soon snapped at by Petunia, who was trying to study.

She watched as Alice teared up on the podium, and as Frank sang the British National Anthem at the top of his lungs while the arena raised Great Britain’s flag, gold hanging around the duo’s necks. 

There was quite the celebration when the pair came home; Lily had stared in awe when Alice showed her the gold medal for the first time. Holding the medal in her hands, tracing the detailings with her finger, it was heavier then she had imagined it being. 

They were the first ever Olympic Gold Ice Dancers, they made history.

There wasn’t too much time to celebrate though, in less than a month later, the King’s Cross Skating Club headed to Göteborg, Sweden for the World Championships. Frank and Alice once again beat the Soviets and the Americans, Malfoy and Dolohov from the Walpurgis Club advancing themselves up two spots to 5th overall. Lily skated once again, her heart in her stomach when she took the ice, her nerves running wild but she performed her Long Program beautifully. While not medalling, she finished in the final heat in 9th place, it was the closure she needed to finish the year.

And just like that, the competition season was over, and while she still had practices and training to attend, her drive was lacking. It always happened this way, once competitions were done, it felt like there was nothing to look forward to. Soon though June came, ending the season entirely, giving Lily the month off she so desired. The month of June was the “absolutely, completely, by no means will Lillian Evans touch the ice” month, named by her Mother, of course, the name origin coming from Lily’s earlier years as a Novice, when she needed to be physically removed from the ice and restrained during the off-months. Now, however, Lily took the opportunity to clear her head, dedicate time to friends she hadn’t been able to during the year, _sleep-in_ and just relax.

Midway through June though, she returned to the rink to see Augusta to map out what the upcoming season was going to be like for her, and maybe finally convince her coach to let her skate to Carmen this year, though in her heart knowing Augusta would never let it happen. As she walked through the halls of the rink she grew excited, thinking about her upcoming season, though as she approached Augusta’s office she slowed her pace. She stopped outside of the office, hearing an argument inside.

“I don’t understand where this is coming from.” Lily heard Frank say, who was clearly distraught.

“I need you to see reason.” Augusta countered, her voice low, “If you can’t see how this is the best move for your careers then-”

“ _How can it be?_ ” Frank asked, his voice rising in volume before he seemed to restrain himself, “In what world does switching _now? After_ we’ve won make any sense?”

“They offer more prestige and produce a larger amount of high-level skaters every year-”

“Prestige doesn’t matter and quantity doesn’t matter, _we won,_ Why would we change if what we are doing is working?”

“Prestige  _does_ matter Frank you’re naive to think it doesn’t. You know that they wanted Dolohov and Malfoy as their front-runners this year, they _were_ the front-runners going into the Olympics even despite you winning nationals-”

“But we proved them wrong!”

“You should want to surround yourself with the best-”

“That doesn't matter to me!”

“It does to me!” Augusta countered, “Frank there are going to be changes here in the upcoming years, changes that will put a damper on you two and I don’t want you around for them.”

“Is this about money? Because if it is I-”

“No, no _absolutely_ not, that is for your schooling Frank.”

“ _What_ schooling Mum?” Frank asked.

Augusta frowned at that “Your future then, no not a penny more than your coaching fees will be going towards this club.”

“Then bump the coaching fees!”

“Not all of our skaters here can afford that, Francis I’m through discussing this, you are going to level your head, and accept the offer from the Walpurgis Club before you fall behind on the season- Francis Euan Longbottom!” Augusta nearly yelled as Frank emerged from the office, storming off not even noticing Lily there who jumped back as he stomped past.

Alice followed right after him, her face concerned, glancing back to Augusta for a moment before going after Frank.

Lily watched the ice dancers leave, unsure what to make of what she had just heard, and even more unsure what to do, whether or not she should enter the office.

However only moments after Frank and Alice disappeared around the corner, Augusta called out “Lily my dear, are you out there?” Filling the tense silence left behind. Lily hesitantly peered into Augusta’s office.

“Well don’t just stand in the doorway dear, in or out.”

Lily quickly walked in though found herself overly-conscious of every sound she made, walking on her toes and holding her breath. She sat down at Augusta’s desk, not sure whether or not she should talk but the silence was deafening.

Augusta let out a deep breath before starting, “Lily-”

“Would you like me to come back another day?” Lily blurted.

Augusta blinked, hesitating to respond for a moment, “I would hate to waste your day Lily dear-”

“It would be no trouble, I have errands to run today anyways.” Lily lied, not wanting to put Augusta on the spot, “I could come back next weekend?” She offered.

Augusta paused, thinking “Perhaps that’s for the best then.”

“I’ll see you then, have a good weekend Mrs. Longbottom.” Lily said, quickly getting up and moving for the door, eager to get away from the uncomfortable environment.

“Lily dear?” Augusta called, causing Lily to pause and turn back, “Thank you.”

Lily nodded and turned to leave, Augusta calling after her again, “Sunday dear, two o’clock.”

Lily nodded again before quickly leaving, holding her bag close to her as walked quickly, about to round the corner when she froze hearing Frank’s voice, angry, again

“-knows that I would support her if she would just let me,” Frank said, sounding exasperated.

“I know Frank,” She heard Alice chime in, “I want to stay too but-”

“Then why didn’t you say something?” He snapped at her, Lily holding her breath, “She might have listened to you.” He accused.

“I don’t want to fight with your mother, or _you._ ” Alice snapped back, “I’m worried, I’m worried she might have a point.” She added, softer.

“What do you mean by that?” Frank asked.

“If we aren’t taken seriously by the ISU then-”

“We won! Why do both of you act like we didn't just have the best season of our careers, not just Olympics but National’s and World’s!” Frank exclaimed.

“You know they favour Walpurgis Frank-”

“But it doesn't matter, because we know we can win without that.”

“And what she said, about the changes-”

“I told you if it’s about the money I don’t care I’ll-”

“What if it isn’t Frank? What if it’s something else?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know.” Alice said quietly, a silence falling between the two for a moment. Lily took a quiet breath, thinking maybe she could sneak by, peering carefully around the corner to see what was happening.

Frank swallowed after a moment, “This is my home Alice, this rink, I grew up here.” He said

“I know, it’s mine too Frank, I know.” She agreed moving closer, taking his hands in hers. “We don’t have to leave if you don’t want to. She can’t force us to.”

“Do you want to?” He asked.

She looked up at him, “It doesn't matter to me where we skate, Birmingham or here. I just want to skate with you, I just want us.”

At that though Frank’s demeanour instantly changed, pulled his hands away from hers, “Don’t-” He said moving back, “Don’t say that.”

“Frank-”

“You can’t say that, you can’t just say that when you don’t mean it.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t-”

“I’m fine with how you feel and I’m fine with being your partner but you can’t use how I feel - that isn’t fair Alice.” Frank said, his voice low but angrier then Lily had ever heard it.

“I didn’t mean it like that I didn’t think about it that way I’m sorry.” Alice said moving towards him but Frank kept his distance, “I wasn’t trying to - nothing like that.”

Frank continued to move away from her, already over-emotional and not thinking clearly; and his relationship with Alice was a sensitive subject. “Just- I need to leave.” He said looking for the door before moving, Alice following “Just let me-” Frank started, raising his voice but paused composing himself, “I can’t be around you, or any of this.” He said before quickly walking down the hallway towards the lobby, escaping the rink.

Lily watched as Alice stood dejected for a moment, before quickly collecting herself, not wanting anyone to see her. She took a deep breath before turning and walking the opposite way; towards Lily who scrambled, backing away from where she had been snooping as Alice approached, who luckily didn’t notice the red-head until she turned the corner, nearly bumping into her.

“Lily,” The older girl said, caught completely off-guard.

“Alice- hi.” Lily said awkwardly, an uncomfortable silence forming between the two.

“I’m just on my way to-” Alice started only to be cut off by Lily,

“Oh I’m just going home,” She said quickly motioning in the direction of the lobby.

“Right,” Alice said, “I suppose I’ll see you ‘round then.” She said, moving past Lily and heading down the hallway.

“Right, see you ‘round.” Lily said back, quickly making her break for the lobby, _guiltily,_ though it hadn’t seemed like Alice knew she had been snooping.

Her brow furrowed as she left the rink, thinking about Frank and Alice. Considering herself lucky she wasn’t a pairs skater or ice dancer. She preferred the independence and did not need the drama, though she didn’t blame Frank for falling for Alice. Practically everyone at the club and really anyone who saw them skate together could tell he was crazy about her. They had been skating together since they were kids, if Lily were honest she probably would fall for her skating partner too if she had one. She’d thought it was a bit romantic, until now at least, she had never seen this side of them. What she put together in her head from what she’d heard was that Frank and Alice, or at least Augusta was thinking about Frank and Alice moving to the Walpurgis Skating Club, which didn’t sit well with Lily one bit. She knew though that Frank wouldn’t let that happen, and the idea of him leaving his own families skating club was a bit ridiculous when she thought about it. She pushed it to the back of her mind in the week leading up to her rescheduled meeting with Augusta. However by her return to the rink the next Sunday, Frank and Alice were apartment hunting in Birmingham, officially members of the WSC, planning their upcoming season with their new coach Viktor Avery Senior, who just so happened to coach their rivals, Malfoy and Dolohov.

Lily tried not to dwell on it, but she simply couldn’t understand it and it was hard not to be reminded of it everytime she looked at her own coach, who while did a good job hiding it, had a melancholy air to her during practices without her son and his partner there.

She had picked out her program music and was in the midst of choreographing them with Augusta. Lily had to negotiate for _Clair de Lune_ as her Free Program, knowing nothing would ever shake her coach enough into letting her skate to _Carmen,_ because according to Augusta everyone and their mothers were skating to _Carmen_ , it didn’t stop Lily from at least trying for it, despite being quickly shot done. No one from King’s Cross would ever be skating to _Carmen_ , not while Augusta Longbottom ran the roost.

The first competition of the seasons was the Rostelecom Cup, this year held in Saint Petersburg and after her performance at World’s Lily was given Great Britain’s second of two spots. Their first choice was Bellatrix Black, a Walpurgis girl a few years older than Lily, who had been dominating the ladies single skating bracket. Not only was she a Walpurgis girl but she was also apart of the Black family, a large upper-class family who nearly all were skaters, and all of them were top of the line, champions.

Frank and Alice had chosen to travel with their teammates, so the trip this year was just Augusta and Lily, and while the two women were not uncomfortable with each other, Lily knew they could both feel the empty space that the ice dancers left. Their flight was mostly spent asleep, but the train ride the pair chatted on about the skate, but there was really only so many times you could talk about your program right before a competition, and both of them knew they did not need Lily getting into her own head. A lull appeared and Lily an avid hater of silence tried to fill it.

“What are Frank and Alice skating to this year?” She asked.

Augusta let out a small ‘hum” before busying herself by looking for a book in her carry on bag, “I’m not quite sure dear.” She said, “The Walpurgis Club likes to keep their programs under-wrap.”

“He hasn’t told you?” Lily asked, trying to hide her disbelief.

“I’m afraid Francis and I haven’t had much time to talk. He’s only really spoken to his Father since the start of the season.” Augusta said, finding and opening her book, marking the end of their conversation. Lily sat, stunted by that fact, and while she had just thought about how she missed the ice dancers presence on the trip, she found herself stewing in anger for the rest of the train ride.

The duo arrived in Saint Petersburg around 8:00, checking into their hotel Lily though quickly making for the arena to hopefully catch Severus’s practice rehearsal, and then the two would go out for a hot chocolate, something that had become a bit of a pre-comp ritual.

When she arrived the arena was packed with skaters, and accepting defeat she made her way to the stands to watch, finding Severus on the ice almost instantly, his long mop of black hair making him easy to spot. She picked out other skaters she knew from the group, Bartemius Crouch, a year younger than her, Walpurgis. His technique didn’t speak for himself but he was backed with family money to assure him a spot at the Walpurgis Skating Club. She continued to scan the ice and spotted Regulus Black once he jumped, the height he got making him quite noticeable. He was incredible. He had made his senior debut the same year as Lily, at just fourteen years old. He dominated the junior bracket and made the podium at World’s last season. All in his debut year, which left Lily with a pang of jealousy.

She watched as Severus got his turn with the ice and they played his music, Severus skating through his routines, omitted all but the jumps and spins trying to focus in on his technique. His music ended and they moved on to the next skater but Lily waited until she saw Severus leave the ice before making her way down to the changerooms to meet him. As she walked she noticed Frank and Alice enter the rink, waiting for the men’s practice to finish so they could take the ice. She couldn’t take her eyes off the pair, it had only been since the summer since she’d seen them but they looked quite different to her. Alice’s hair was noticeably longer, pulled into a simple low braid, sitting just about to the end of her upper back. Frank’s usually wild hair was flatter and tamed, something Augusta could never get her son to do. He looked taller too, though Lily wasn’t sure.

As she walked away she continued to glance back at the ice dancers, who were now stretching as other ice dancers joined them while waiting to take the ice. She decided not to think about them, knowing she had her own programs to dwell on as she met with Severus, the two skaters leaving the arena to find a coffee shop before the Opening Ceremonies. They didn’t talk about their programs together, they had discovered a long time ago that it wasn’t helpful for either of them. Severus was so technical and critical, and Lily found that he lacked the emotional connections to his routines. It was better if they just kept to themselves, and they used their tradition to let themselves settle and to get comfortable before their skates.

After her catch up with Severus, Lily returned to the rink to find Augusta before the Opening Ceremonies. After the ceremony the two ladies grabbed dinner during the pairs short program, making it back to the arena just in time for the men’s event.

Severus skated well, a few blips in the program but overall quite a strong skate. When Regulus Black took the ice it felt like the world stopped. His speed was incredible, soaring across the ice. Once he had finished his skate both Lily and Augusta had to adjust their posture, having leaned forwards during the young boy's program.

The Ice Dancers were the final event of the day, Augusta paying close attention to each of the pairs. Frank and Alice took the Ice in the last wave, the duo not completely synchronized during their twizzles but the skate never fell apart. Augusta did not seem impressed though, by the end of the first event, Frank and Alice placed second behind their training partners Dolohov and Malfoy. Augusta was silent on their ride back to the hotel.

Day two of the competition, Lily was at the rink bright and early for her practice time on the ice. The women got a little extra time, as the men were the only other people performing that day. She took her time getting used to the feel of the ice until they queued her music up and she rehearsed her program. Her skate through wasn’t awful, stumbling through a few jumps but nothing that worried her too much. She omitted going out to lunch with Augusta though, not sure if she would be able to keep it down.

Her short program goes off without any mistakes, and she moves from the fourth wave to the last. Neither Augusta or herself could contain their excitement, being ranked fifth overall.

The men skate their free programs, and the awards ceremonies take place that night. Regulus Black taking the silver, losing to a much older Soviet. Severus places seventh, though isn’t too disappointed with the outcome. Augusta invites Severus along to dinner with them. Lily sleeps better that night, her heart pounding, not having that good of a skate since her junior years.

The final day of the Rostelecom Cup, Lily wakes up with determination. She heads to the arena for her rehearsal, the rink is crowded this time though, with over double the amount of skaters, today the pairs, ice dancers and ladies compete. The ladies are finally allowed their ice time, as she enters the rink she passes by Alice who gives her a brief smile before she’s ushered away.

Her rehearsal goes swimmingly. Augusta meets her at the rink with a packed lunch, and they talk about the free program. Their usual pre-skate conversation, about what she’s looking for with the skate, what kind of moment she wants to create when she takes the ice. The girls head to the stands for the ice dancers event.

“Representing Great Britain, Alice Fortescue and Francis Longbottom.”

Augusta sits up ever so slightly as Frank and Alice take the ice. Alice’s hair is in a high ponytail, her eye makeup dark and she is wearing the most low cut dress Lily thinks she’s ever seen, the older girl turns around and Lily is taken aback even further because the dress has no back. Frank is in a tight, dark, mock neck long sleeve, with carefully placed sheer cutouts, his hair combed down to his head. Lily sees Augusta’s lips twist ever so slightly.

The pair stand back to back on centre ice. As their music begins Lily tenses, Augusta next to her narrowing her eyes, both women instantly recognizing the melody.

_Themes and Selections from Carmen._


	3. the rostelecom cup pt.2, 1976

**Saint Petersburg, Rostelecom Cup, 1976**

Alice and Frank’s _Carmen_ was hard to watch.

Not that it was bad in any way, because _of course it wasn’t_ . But it was an angry, jealous, sexually driven program. It was the little things that made Lily squirm in her seat. The way Frank grabbed Alice’s wrists instead of her hand, and the way he seemed to throw her around the ice, the smirk on Alice’s face with the deceptive glint in her eyes, the specifically placed slightly sexual hands on each other and the even more obvious sexual lifts. She felt herself flinch ever so slightly when Alice wrapped her legs around Frank who lifted her close to him, nose to nose, their lips nearly touching but both of them looking so furious with each other. It just was out of character for the two ice dancers, though both Alice and Frank were known to really dedicate themselves to the emotion behind their programs, _especially_ the storytelling ones. Alice as the seductress Carmen, and Frank as Don José. Lily found their final pose, after an impressive lift, Frank nearly throwing Alice towards the ice, one hand on the back of her neck the other on her arm holding her up, as her other arm and neck gracefully fell down, representing  the “murdering of Carmen” a bit too literal for her comfort. The program was impressive though, like nothing Lily had ever seen before, and there really were things Lily had never seen before. The duo executed lifts Lily didn’t even know was possible, things that she didn’t even know Frank and Alice knew how to do. The growth from even just last year was evident. More mature, breaking from their wholesome mold.

And the audience _loved_ it. The judges did too.

The ladies FP was next to Lily didn’t have time to watch the rest of the pairs, but she heard the results as she was stretching, Frank and Alice took the gold.

She adored her costume this year. Her mother had made it for her, a dark navy sleeveless dress with thin straps. The neckline modest but bedazzled with white beads. The dress was so light and Lily loved the way the garment felt as she moved, flowing with her as she skated. Augusta had braided her hair into a bun, weaving a white ribbon through the braid.

She felt really beautiful in this costume.

Being in the final heat meant she had a long time to wait before it was her time to skate. She waited in the warm up room with the other girls, there was a mirror and lots of room where some girls were practicing their jumps, Lily was content to stretch and use the time to focus. Bellatrix Black was there, though isolated herself from the other girls. Her hair was pulled into a tight ballerina bun, a her Walpurgis club jacket covering her costume though it seemed to be red. Her eyes were piercing, glaring at any of the other girls who dared to come near her.

Lily looked away from the Walpurgis girl, starting to feel uneasy. She was relieved when a young Russian woman called attention to the group, that it was nearly their time to skate and led them all back to the rink.

As the fourth heat wrapped up, Lily was finally allowed on the ice. She did a few laps around the ice before running through her jumps. A bit rough on the landings, she continued to run through her technique, some spins, a few more go’s at the jumps. She spotted her coach by the boards and skated over. Augusta gave her water, a few notes on her jumps but then stepped back, allowing Lily to get in the right mindset.

She was second to skate, she was allowed a few more laps before they were called off the ice. As she left Augusta met her again, handing her her skate guards and water bottle. She quickly slipped the guards on over the blades of her skates before taking a walk. She drank from her water occasionally, though mostly just slowly paced around the rink. She closed her eyes as the music of the first skater started, trying to block it out and hear her own instead. She eventually stopped her pacing, choosing to stand by Augusta and stretch. Four minutes felt like an eternity but finally, she was ushered to the ice as the American girl ahead of her took her bows and left the ice.

“Representing Great Britain, Lily Evans.”

Lily skated, raising her arms as they announced her name in acknowledgement to the audience. She circle center ice for a moment before moving to her starting spot, taking her opening position. She took a steadying breath as the arena fell silent, whether they were quiet or Lily had blocked them out she couldn’t tell but she honed in on that focus. Another deep breath. She repeated some of her mantras, the mindset she needed to create. She had to capture the feeling, create the moment she wanted. Her first time of the season performing this program, bare her soul to the world, or at least bare her soul to Russia.

Another breath, through her nose. She closed her eyes as the first soft notes of her program started, and fell into the first motions of her routine.

She had about thirty seconds or so into the routine before her first technical element. Thirty seconds to clear her mind and _focus._ Preparing for her first combination, double-flip, double-toe, _focus. Breathe._ She closed her eyes taking a deep breath as she entered the jump, landing it. She could faintly hear the audience cheer but it felt muffled. She was in her zone now.

Her second element, another combination, Double axel, double-toe. Breathing deep through her nose, entering her jump, landing the double axel, stumbling out of the double-axel but she kept her balance through the double-toe. She bit her lip for a moment but tried not to let her focus falter. _Keep breathing. Create that moment._

She had about twenty seconds before her next element her spin combination, though she tried not to think too technically. Spins were her favourites. She tuned into the way the air felt as she skated across the ice, the way her costume felt against her skin. _Capture the feeling._ Moving just left of centre ice she entered her spin, a flying sit spin into a Biellmann. _Channel that feeling into your movements._

She had three more jumps, a step-sequence and a spin, to go. She exited the spin, facing the audience, a brief moment of stillness, in the audience she could see Severus, Frank and Alice and other Walpurgis kids. Looking at her through a crack of the wall she had put up, protecting her and the ice. She blinked, taken out of where she was for a moment before snapping back to reality, she needed to keep moving. Tearing her eyes and feet away from the spot she had glued in, she moved quickly to catch up with her music before it left her behind. Left behind, that was not an unfamiliar feeling lately.

She entered her next element too quickly, double-flip, flying through the air and then landing, stumbling her hand reaching out towards the ice for balance but she had the better sense to quickly pull away. That would certainly be under review.

A double lutz was next. She had always had a bit of a mental block with the lutz but it was a goal she set for herself this year. _Focus,_ she screamed in her head, biting her lip as she prepared to enter her jump. As soon as she lifted off the ice she could feel it was wrong. Landing awkwardly, she went down, knees hitting the ice. She could hear the audience gasp, then pity clap as she got up, not to get behind her music, again.

One last jump, a double Salchow. _Safe,_ Lily thought to herself as she moved across the ice, catching herself chewing her lip which she quickly stopped. Her step-sequence was right after, and if anything she needed to be in the moment for that. She entered her Salchow, sticking the landing and glided into her step-sequence.

She took a deep breath, trying to recapture that feeling that she was looking for. Another deep breath, time felt like it was moving quicker as she finished her step-sequence, clocking herself just falling into the comfortable familiarity of the movements.

She tried to tune into her music, though it felt like the audience was louder then it, like she could hear each murmur and breath, each audience member took. She moved to center ice, entering her final element, a layback spin, and hitting her final pose. The audience cheered, Lily trying to smile as she bowed but the sound was overwhelmingly loud and sharp, her ears ringing slightly. As she skated off towards Augusta she wondered if she hit her head at some point and forgotten about it.

Augusta smiled at her, handing her skate guards, a jacket and her water bottle before giving her a big hug, Lily trying her best to reciprocate with her hands full. “How do you feel dear?” Augusta as they made their way to the kiss and cry.

“Are your ears popped too?” Lily asked slipping her jacket on.

Augusta paused for a moment, “No, but it is a bit loud in here.”

Lily nodded as she sat, her coach sitting next to her, putting an arm around her before murmuring, “You’re eating your lipstick dear.” Catching her chewing her lip. Bad nervous habit. Lily stopped and took a drink of water, her heart still beating loudly in her chest.

“The scores please,”

Augusta squeezed Lily’s shoulder in anticipation.

“Lily Evans from Great Britain has earned a total of 102.46 points, with a grand total of 163.68 points. She currently sits in first place.”

Augusta beamed at her, giving Lily another tight hug. Both of the women knowing she wouldn’t hold onto that spot for long, but maybe there was a chance of holding a spot on the podium.

It was a long shot though.  

Bellatrix Black was second last to skate, her intense program knocking Lily, who had already fallen by this point to third off the podium. The Soviet who wrapped up the ladies event took the silver, lowering Lily to fifth. Fifth place wasn’t bad though. Another Walpurgis win, the WSC landing three out of the four golds at this event. While she wasn’t ecstatic about it, it did make Great Britain look good. The medal ceremony was quick, she wrapped around herself, curling into her jacket, having neglected to change before the awards. Once it had concluded Augusta urged her to get changed, having a train to catch that would take them to the airport.

Lily slipped into the ladies change room, it being quite packed with skaters, all pulling themselves out of their costumes and skates, wanting to get out of there just as much as Lily did. Luckily though for Lily, her costume wasn’t a tight to her skin, or a long-sleeved bodysuit unlike some of the other girls so she was able to strip quickly, slipping on a sweater and sweatpants, quickly making her escape out of the change room, heading down the hallway when someone called after her.

She turned hearing her name, to find Alice, who had followed her right out of the change room. The older girl smiled at her, “I’m glad I caught you, I was worried I wouldn’t get to properly see you.” She said, before hugging a slightly surprised Lily, but she reciprocated all the same.

“I wanted to say that you really did a great job. Your free program was lovely but your short was really incredible.” Alice said.

Lily smiled at that, “Thank you.” She said, all of a sudden feeling a bit shy.

“Really Evans, I mean it.” Alice said, “You skated beautifully.”

“Coming from you,” Lily said, “I didn’t even know you guys could move like that.” She said with a small laugh, “It was amazing, and you looked stunning in your costume, very modern.”

It was Alice’s turn to shy away, “Viktor didn’t want our Carmen to blend, people usually lean more towards the red or a gypsy costume.” She said brushing it off.

“It really worked.”

“It certainly was new.” Alice said with a smile, “It felt a bit, well I don’t know, like people were staring. That's silly though I know, people are staring all the time.” She said. Lily decided to side-step from the costume.

“Are you headed home tonight?” The redhead asked.

“We have one more night in Saint Petersburg, we’re heading to the airport tomorrow morning.” Alice said, “And you?”

“Heading out tonight, right now actually,” Lily admitted.

“I’ll let you go then,” Alice said, “Really though Lily, great skate.” She said.

Lily smiled at that, nodding in response.

“Give Augusta my best if you can.” Alice added, a quick hand on Lily’s shoulder before turning around, heading down the hallway.

Lily watched the older girl go, glad she had gotten a chance to talk to at least one of the ice dancers. She adjusted her sports bag before heading towards the lobby where Augusta would meet her. Quite exhausted from the days events, the silence in the cab wasn’t uncomfortable, but more out of necessity. The two women caught their train where Lily fell asleep, and then another cab to the airport where she managed to stay awake, but both women were so exhausted by the time they boarded the plane, they were out like lights by the time they took off.  

Augusta gave the senior skaters (which was just Lily now) a well needed two days off to recuperate. Lily spent almost the entire two days in her bed, wrapped in her blankets. Her next practice was at 6AM and even after 48-hours of essentially just sleeping, she still wasn’t ready to force her body to get up. But she did, she managed like she usually did, only on rare occasions now was she not able to force herself awake for practice. Mornings like this though she would think to herself what it would be like if she didn’t skate, and went to public school like Petunia, but if it wasn’t skating it would be choir, or soccer, or debate team, something else that she would be dedicating her time to. It was lonely though sometimes, while there used to be seniors at the King’s Cross Skating Club, there was Frank and Alice, a pairs team, Kingsley Shacklebolt and Dorcas Meadowes who now skated in America, a long time ago even Severus used to skate at the King’s Cross, until he moved with his family to Birmingham, unrelated to skating, and a handful of other seniors though before Lily’s time. The club had shrunk in size so much in the past years, almost an exclusively female club, with mostly novice skaters. There was a junior girl, Mary MacDonald who had her senior debut planned for the next upcoming season, but that was still a year away. A year of just Lily.

She quickly changed into simple athletic leggings and an old pull over. Tying her hair up she threw a bagel into the toaster and packed her sports bag. Quickly devouring the bagel she threw her bag over her shoulder and went around the side of her house to get her bike. October was a bit late in the year to still be riding her bike, but it hadn’t gotten too cold yet, and Lily would do anything she could to avoid catching the bus, she’d rather walk then bus if she were honest.

She rode down to the sports arena, checking her watch, 5:45AM, still had time, all she had to do was lace up her skates and she could be on the ice by 6. She locked up her bike at the racks in front of the arena, before heading in. She was surprised to see though Augusta in the front lobby though, arguing with a boy at the front desk (who clearly seemed to be a volunteer). Lily quickly joined her coach, unsure what to think of the situation.

“I’m sorry ma’am but if you look at the schedule-”

“I don’t know why you don’t understand, I know you’ve seen us here before, we have the ice booked all year, 6:00AM practices on Wednesdays, Fridays, _and_ Sundays.” Augusta snapped back. “So why, are there a bunch of rowdy boys, scratching up our ice on this fine Sunday morning?”

“The schedule says-”

“I pay thousands and _thousands_ of dollars, to book the ice for my students-”

“I don’t know what to tell you ma’am.”

“Well then, I need to see Millicent.”

“Mrs. Bagnold is on vacation with her husband at the moment, her son is acting manager and will be coming in around 6:30.”

“I don’t want to be speaking with a child.” Augusta stated, turning her nose up slightly.

“He’s turning thirty this coming spring ma’am.”

Augusta narrowed her eyes at that, “Well, you seem to know them quite well don’t you.” She said annoyed. “Fine then, I’ll wait.” She said, turning to sit in the waiting area, Lily following behind her, despite the lack of acknowledgement.

Augusta remained frosty as Lily sat next to her, preoccupied in staring down the front desk boy, who was trying his best to ignore the older woman but clearly was uncomfortable. Only when the boy left the front desk to go to the back did Augusta break her ice glare, and sigh.

“I’m sorry Lily my dear, I don’t know what happened.” She admitted, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

Lily nodded, while her feelings weren’t quite as intense as Augusta’s, she did share the frustrations. She was ready to go over notes from the competition, to keep pushing through her programs, more importantly, she wasn’t ready to have to get back on her bike and make the trip home.

She sat next to Augusta, leaning against the wall closing her eyes, not realizing she must have fallen asleep until she felt Augusta shift next to her.

“Mrs. Longbottom?” A man stood in front of them, “Robert Bagnold, acting manager, I know you know my mother?”

“I do. For quite some time.” Augusta said curtly, sitting up slightly.

“I don’t doubt it, if you’d follow me to her office we can work this out.” He said warmly, quite the contrast to Augusta’s icy presence. “You can come with us if you’d like.” He said to Lily, in a voice that implied he thought she was _much_ younger then she actually was.

Lily looked to Augusta who had already started to follow Robert Bagnold to his mother’s office, so she followed along, unsure what else to do. Once they arrived Robert grabbed an extra chair for Lily to sit, before sitting across from them at his desk.

“So we seem to have a scheduling issue?” He asked, going through papers that were on his desk, Lily assumed to just avoid meeting Augusta’s stare for too long.

“Yes, I have the rink booked for Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays from two to six. Wednesdays, Fridays and _Sundays_ from six to eight..” Augusta stated.

“Wow, intense.” Robert said, looking to Lily, trying to lighten the mood, “And did you pay the deposit on time?” He asked.

“Yes.”

“And the second installment?” He asked.

“Not due until January.” Augusta said.

“And how many students attending in the morning?” He asked.

This took Augusta off-guard, “Pardon me?”

“How many students do you have attending in the morning practices?” Robert asked again, though his tone remained kind, and uncondescending.

“Well, this year we have one senior skater.” Augusta said.

“Is this her?” He asked looking to Lily.

Lily quickly nodded. 

“And so, it’s only seniors attending these morning practices?” He asked.

Lily wasn’t sure if he was talking to her anymore and looked to Augusta, who simply nodded.

Robert made a small humming sound, like he was thinking on it, “Mrs. Longbottom, how long has the King’s Cross Skating Club practiced here?”

“Since its establishment.” Augusta said proudly, “Twenty-five years.”

“Have you changed your schedule at all in that time?” He asked.

“Of course we have.” Augusta said, acting as though he slapped her.

“Alright, okay, well how about in the past ten years? Or even the past five?” He asked, Augusta was quiet, Robert taking it as a sign to continue, “Well, I won’t speak for my mother, but what it seems like to me is that your club has depleted in numbers, and maybe can’t really justify priority ice time, three times a week.” He said.

Augusta narrowed her eyes at that.

“However, I do understand you need to practice,” He said, looking to Lily, “And the group booked on the ice right now isn’t really that large either.” He said looking through some more papers, “What I believe my mother intended is for you to _share_ the space.”

Augusta was speechless for a moment, Lily tensed for a moment not sure what was going to happen next.

“Lily my dear, would you excuse us.” Augusta said.

Lily quickly got up from the chair, and absconded from the office closing the door behind her, trying not to meet Robert’s eyes on her way out, that seemed to be begging her to stay. Hearing something along the lines about calling Mrs. Bagnold _right this instant_. Lily finding her escaping offices at the sports arena a bit too much of a theme for her this year. Not a feeling she was enjoying so far. She waited in the hallway, leaning against the wall trying to mind her own business. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when the boy from the front desk passed through the hallway, towards the rink, coming back a few minutes later, trailing behind a silver haired woman who strode into the office, the boy giving Lily and glance before returning down to the lobby.

It was almost 7:30 by the time Augusta emerged from the office, clearly frustrated, motioning for Lily to follow her. She didn’t speak as they walked down to the lobby, not acknowledging the front desk boy or anyone for that matter.

“Come on dear, get your bike in the trunk.” Augusta instructed getting her keys out.

Lily wasn’t sure if being trapped in a small enclosed space with Augusta was the best idea right now but she wasn’t about to turn down a ride home, quickly going to her bike and unlocking it from the rack, following Augusta to her van.

She helped Lily load her bike into the trunk before wordlessly getting into the car and starting it up, turning the heater on. “Practice on Tuesday, regular time with the other girls. Wednesday at six, with the Derby Lions.” Augusta said, “A hockey team.” She said _disgusted_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (i just wanted to post it, so there probably are some pretty bad spelling/grammar issues, i promise i'll fix them once i go through when it's not 3:00AM, we'll see the boys next chapter ! and i'll have to bs my way through hockey writing so bear with me for that haha  
> also if you havent guessed, frank and alice are hEAVILY inspired/based off of/are tessa and scott most of their programs are gonna be highkey just VM's programs (you should highkey watch their carmen, cause its everything)  
> lily's skating inspo is right now kaetlyn osmond cause we are really proud of her here in canada ! ! she killed it at worlds ! that might change later though as lily develops as a skater!)


	4. the derby lions pt.1, 1976

**Derby, England. Pre-NHK Trophy, 1976**

“So they’re what, going to split the rink down the middle?” 

“I suppose so.” 

“That’s stupid, how are you going to practice your jumps?” 

“I’m not sure Mary.” 

It was just about 3:00 PM, Tuesday, Mary MacDonald had only just arrived to practice, she still attended the local high school, there was some talk of her switching over to homeschooling for her senior debut though. Lily had just about finished explaining her situation to the younger girl. Lily pulled her headband off, biting her lip as she tamed her flyaways. She had Monday to stew over the news, trying in vain to get through her homework, though ended up having a cup of tea with her Mother and explain(complain) about the situation. Her mother though, ever the optimistic, told her not to worry. 

“Mary keep it moving, get warm!” Augusta called from the side of the ice. 

Mary glanced at Lily before pulling away to skate around the rink. 

Lily followed suit, doing a lap alongside Mary to build up speed before breaking off to try a jump, triple-toe. She landed awkwardly, her hands going down to catch herself. Still couldn’t quite get her triples but she was closer than before. Hopefully by next year, though how was she going to be able to practice her triples when she was only allowed to use  _ half  _ of the ice? She took a deep breath as she rejoined Mary taking another lap, hearing her mother in her head scolding her. 

_ “Such negative Nellies you and ‘Tuney turned out to be, where did you girls get that.”  _ Her mother would tut to herself. 

So she didn’t really  _ know  _ if she would only get half of the ice, but how else could she share the ice with a whole boys hockey team? With their sticks and their bulky ugly padding, and their stinky jerseys. 

“Short program technical elements, no step sequences or choreo sequences please, Mary first then Lily.” Augusta called. They only had until five before the Novices showed up, best to get the most of the rink while they could. Lily skated to the side of the ice as Mary took center ice, starting to go through her technical elements. She leaned against the boards, glancing at Augusta who was watching Mary intensely. 

“I met with the Derby Lion’s coach today,” Augusta said to Lily though did not take her eyes off of the younger dark-haired girl. 

“Did you?” Lily asked, allowing herself to get hopeful for a moment. 

“They aren’t happy about the situation either.” Augusta said.

“Well, that’s a good sign.”

“They also aren’t budging on the ice time though,” Augusta said, Lily felt the brief moment of hope pass, “The team  _ and  _ Bagnold thinks they deserve it, they’re a competitive team who had a spectacular year last year, and they want to continue to build their reputation as a competitive team.” 

“I’d say we had a spectacular year last year too,” Lily said bitterly. 

“I’d agree with that.” Her coach sighed. “There’s a bit more bad news, not terrible but not great. I called Millicent, she told me that to increase the rinks income they plan on hosting the competitive hockey league’s games more frequently. Just about every other, Thursday’s we’ll have to push practice later until their game wraps up.” 

Lily held back a groan as Mary took off the ice into a double axel, flubbing the landing. 

“Tighten up Mary, your legs are getting ahead of your body, and only your skates are getting through that extra half-rotation.” Augusta called out, “Try it again then keep going.”

“Will they sweep the ice in between?” Lily asked hesitantly. 

“I’ve asked them to, but the likelihood of them getting the Zamboni out two hours before their close, and then get it out again at the end of the night, well, it doesn’t look great for us.” 

Lily sighed again before reaching behind the boards for her water bottle, chewing on the top as she watched Mary skate. As the younger girl finished she skated towards Augusta, getting notes from her coach before moving towards Lily, grabbing her own water bottle. 

“You’re up Lily.” Augusta called out. 

“Buck up Lils,” Mary said taking a sip out of her water before lightly pushing the redhead out towards center ice. 

Lily took the ice, going through her technical elements, though it was impossible for her to focus. Her mind kept creeping to her practice tomorrow and what it would entail. After phoning it in and stumbling through her short program elements the two skaters were put to work drilling their jumps, Lily though unable to focus long enough on the task at hand to make any real progress, soon though the Novice skaters arrived, saving Lily from her own funk. While the girls were left to work on their technique and step sequences, Augusta fussed over the little skaters. Lily was quick to exit the ice the minute the clock hit six, slipping her skate guards on and heading for the changerooms. 

She pulled her skates off grabbing her sneakers. Mary entered just as she was tying up her shoelaces. 

“You really booked it out of there.” The younger girl commented sitting down next to Lily. 

Lily shrugged in answer, focusing on her shoelaces as if the task at hand was a challenge and required her full attention. 

“Listen I’m sorry about tomorrow, but maybe it won’t be so bad?” Mary offered, “I’m pretty sure some of those guys go to my school, they aren’t too terrible,” She said, “If you can get past the terrible hockey flow I mean.” 

Lily laughed a bit at that, “I guess,” 

“Besides, it’s still Derby, our hockey team isn’t  _ that  _ big.” 

“That’s true.”

“You’ll be okay Lily, don't let this get you into a funk." 

“Thanks Mary,” The redhead said, standing to grab her bag, “I’ll see you Thursday.” 

“See ya, Lily.” 

Lily quickly left the arena, throwing her bag over her shoulder heading for the bike racks. She didn’t have the energy to race home like she usually did, pedalling casually, avoiding cars, making her way home. 

The house was quiet when she arrived, it usually was. Petunia had moved out, her older sister was in her last year of school at Derby Lonsdale College of Higher Education, though it didn’t make much difference. Petunia had kept to herself and would spend her time either in her room or out with her boyfriend, and with Lily at practice all week, the sisters hardly saw each other. When they did see each other though, that’s when things got loud. That didn’t matter though, because Petunia had moved out and then in with the boyfriend that  _ no one _ liked, not Mum, not Lily and if their Dad were alive, he would not like him either, Lily was certain of that.

Her mum was stirring something on the stove, smelt like some sort of stew, though Lily didn’t really feel like eating. She’d much rather stew in her own sadness and defeat. 

“Did something happen at practice?” Her mother asked as she spooned the broth into two bowls. 

“Not yet,” Lily replied, fiddling with her spoon. 

Mrs. Evans made small ‘tusk’ at that, shaking her head slightly though smiled, “What happened to that sweet optimistic girl I used to know?” Her mother crooned, Lily, holding back an eye roll, if only to prove her wrong. 

“I want to be taken seriously this year,” Lily said, “How can I be expected to better myself when half of my ice time is being taken up by some stupid hockey team?” 

“I’m sure Augusta is working hard to make things right for you, and in the meantime, it’s simply another challenge you have to overcome.” 

That Lily did roll her eyes at, which only made her mum laugh. 

“The top girls right now are doing triples, that is where I need to be by next year.” Lily said.

“And you will be.” 

“How can you know that?” 

“Mother’s intuition, now eat your stew.” 

Lily sighed, clearly her mother was done with the conversation, she ate some of her dinner in defeat but soon excused herself heading to her room. She took a long warm shower, massaging shampoo into her bright hair while she fretted over her practice the next day. She wrapped her hair up in a towel, and then another around herself, sitting down on the bathmat leaning against the wall. After about an hour her mum knocked lightly on the door. 

“Should I be worried about you darling or are you just moping?” 

“I don’t need to be antagonized  _ Mother. _ ” Lily called back, swearing she could hear her mum giggle for a moment.

“Don’t stay up too late, you’re up early tomorrow,” Lily didn’t need to tell her that she knew that, “I love you darling.” 

“Love you too Mum.” She didn’t have the heart not to say it back.

She let herself air dry in the bathroom before finally getting up to dry her hair, pulling her damp locks into french braids before going to her room, slipping on some pyjamas and crawled into bed. She gazed up at her off-white ceiling, trying to relax and fall asleep, her mind tired from the long day of overthinking and worrying. 

She woke up bleary-eyed to the loud buzzing of her alarm,  _ 5:00 AM,  _ it read. 

She pulled her braids out of her hair as she stripped out of her pyjamas, grabbing a pair of athletic leggings and a pink pullover, slipping both on as she grabbed a scrunchy, pulling her loosely crimped hair into a high pony. 

She hopped down the stairs to the kitchen, grabbing her sports bag on the way. A note was pinned to the fridge: 

_ Have a productive practice my darling, breakfast in the fridge.  _

_ I love you ♡ _

Lily smiled a bit at that, opening the fridge to find a colourful smoothie, ready to take right to the rink. She smiled more, taking a quick sip before resealing the bottle and packing it in her bag. She got herself a water bottle, packing it away as well before glancing at the wall clock for the time. 

_ 5:15 AM,  _ she probably had time to catch the bus, and it had been getting significantly colder lately. She dug through one of the kitchen drawers for change for the bus, grabbing a jacking and slipping on her sneakers, before heading out the door. There was a stop right at the end of her street, but Lily opted to walk the few extra blocks to catch the 1A, as it took her to right outside of the arena.

She made the bus and was grateful for the warmth it provided, October really was too late in the season to be biking. 

By  _ 5:45 AM  _ she made it to the arena. She frowned when she saw through the viewing window that there already were some people, setting up nets on the ice. She bit her lip as she heard the rumble of chatter as she walked past the boys change room. She sat alone in the girls change room, pulling her skates on, trying to swallow down the lump that formed in her throat. She grabbed her smoothie and water bottle, taking a deep breath and stood tall as she walked out to the rink. 

She usually put her water and guards by the Home Team bench but it was cluttered with other guards, helmets, jerseys, bags and bottles. She hesitated before skating across the rink and putting her things in the Away Team bench. She glanced over at the two boys who were setting up the rink who paid her no mind. She held onto the boards, stretching, glancing over as more boys in helmets crowded the rink, Lily noting how many there were. Seven, no  _ eight  _ total. 

“What are you doing over here?” The voice of her coach surprised her, snapping out of her focus on the hockey team. 

“It was bit crowded over there,” Lily said, making a bit of a face that Augusta made back as they both glanced at the hockey team. 

“Alright then, a few laps and then let’s tackle that long program shall we?” 

Lily nodded, stretching for a moment more before taking off. She skated around the rink, passing by the hockey players, who seemed to still be assembling themselves. 

As Lily finished off her warm up, a young woman with short greying hair, that in the rink lights looked more silver than anything, and sharp yellow eyes entered the rink. She blew a sharp whistle, assembling the team of boys. Lily skated over to Augusta to get her notes from her performance in Russia, as the hockey team began to skate laps around the rink. 

“Don’t try for any triples, just do as we have choreographed and try to apply the notes you got from Rostelecom.” Augusta instructed, “Just imagine those boys are like the girls in the rehearsals at competitions, they will know better and stay out of your way.” 

Lily nodded, moving to center ice, taking the opening position of her free program. She closed her eyes trying to picture the music in her head. She moved into the first choreographed sequence of her routine, moving around the ice before preparing for her first jump, double-flip double-toe. She entered the jump seamlessly, doubles were too easy for her but she just couldn’t manage to consistently land her triples. She landed on the ice, noticing some of the hockey players watching, holding back a small smile. So often she was surrounded by people that knew figure skating as a second nature, it was nice to show off a bit to people who weren’t looking for the little mistakes and technique errors. 

She entered her second jump, the double-axel double-toe, landing it perfectly, unlike how she did at the Rostelecom Cup. Skating to the left of center ice she entered her spin. She turned out of the spin, knowing that this was the moment it went south, where she lost her focus. She took a deep breath moving across the ice, preparing for her double-flip, closing her eyes, trying not to let her mind fall back into that place, the muscle memory of failing was something too easy for Lily to slip into. She took off, immediately panicking, throwing her arms out of the jump as one of the hockey players skated right in front of her. 

It felt like she was moving in slow motion, she tried to yell, to warn him but she found herself unable to make a sound as she slowly came crashing down towards him. 

There was a loud blaring sound of a whistle as she collided with the boy. 

They avoided hitting the ice, Lily’s momentum pushing the hockey player into the boards with a loud smack. Horrified Lily quickly pushed away from the boy she tackled.

“I’m so so sorry, are you alright?” She asked panicked. 

“I think so, yeah.” The boy said, picking himself up off the boards, standing up, he was just shorter than the redhead. 

“Are you sure?” Lily asked. 

The boy smiled from under his helmet cage, “No harm done, really.”

“Peter!” The spikey-haired woman called, running out on the ice towards them, Augusta following right behind them. The other hockey players began to crowd. The woman reached Peter quickly examining him, moving by Lily as if she didn’t exist. 

“Pettigrew, are you alright?” She asked.

“Yes Coach Hooch, I’m fine.” The boy said. 

Augusta grabbed ahold of Lily gently, looking her over, grabbing her head feeling for any bumps, “My dear are you alright?” She asked. 

“Just fine Augusta really, it was my fault,” Lily said. 

“It certainly was not.” Augusta said disdainfully, “He should have been watching where he was skating.” 

“It certainly was.” The silver-haired coach intervened, “ _ She  _ should have been watching where she was jumping! You know you’ve got sharp blades on the end of your boots there.” The woman snapped at Lily which Augusta did not like at all.

“You know that he’s all padded up and wearing a helmet, she’s got nothing, your boys should be more spatially aware of something delicate.” 

“It’s not my boys' fault that you partake in a” The silver-haired woman paused, searching for a word, “in an  _ event _ , that does not promote the safety of its participants.” 

Both Lily and Augusta nearly rolled their eyes at that. “Our  _ sport  _ is completely safe when there aren’t young boys who don’t look where they skate on the ice.” Augusta snapped back. 

“ _ She  _ skated into  _ him! _ ” 

“Really Coach Hooch I’m fine-” The boy, Peter tried to interject. 

“This is absolutely ridiculous, these kids have blades on their feet, she should not be allowed to jump around when there are so many other people on the ice.” The silver-haired woman, Coach Hooch said. 

“Skaters at competitions rehearse their routines with  _ double  _ the amount of people on the ice, they seem to manage just fine!” Augusta snapped back. Lily wasn’t quite sure on the accuracy of Augusta’s words but she wasn’t about to correct her coach now. 

“Bagnold is going to hear about this, in fact,” Coach Hooch turned, blowing her whistle, “Sticks down on the benches until I get back.” She said before making her way off the ice. 

“He is going to hear about how insane you are acting!” Augusta called after the other coach, following her before turning back to Lily, “Take five Lily.” She said as she stomped off the ice, following Coach Hooch out of the rink. 

Lily sighed, rubbing her face with her hands. This was a complete disaster. She skated to the Away Team bench, grabbing her smoothie, taking small sips, not bothering with her skate guards and just stood close to the boards on the ice. 

She noticed that practically none of the boys had listened to their coach. Two had  _ almost  _ followed instructions, making it to the Home Team area but were spraying each other with water from their water bottles. Another pair were rallying a puck between themselves, shooting on the goal where another player guarded. The last three had grouped together, until one of them, Peter, skated towards her, Lily steeling herself for a moment. 

The shorter boy skidded to a stop next to her, unhooking the cage from his helmet lifting it up to look at the figure skater. “I um, I’m sorry about what happened.” He offered. 

Lily was a bit surprised at that, “You’re sorry?” She asked.

“I really should be looking where I’m about to skate.” He offered. 

“And  _ I  _ shouldn’t be jumping into people, really it was my fault.” Lily said, “I’m sorry.” 

He laughed a bit at that, “My name’s Peter,” He said, holding out his gloved hand for a moment before quickly scrambling to pull it off, then paused a moment, pulling it away again wiping it on his jersey. 

Lily laughed, taking his hand shaking it, “Lily.” She said with a smile. 

“Oi, Petey, who’s your new girlfriend?” One of the boys who Peter had been hanging with called over. 

“Yeah Pete, you’re turning out to be a real  _ lady killer. _ ” The other said, causing the other to burst out in laughter. 

Peter sighed but smiled as he rolled his eyes, “Lily,” He paused looking at Lily for a moment. 

“Evans.” She finished for him. 

“Haven’t seen you ‘round school, Lily Evans.” The taller of the two called. 

"Don’t go,” Lily called back. 

“You don’t?” Peter said shocked. 

“No, homeschooling. Public school gets in the way of ice time and ballet and competitions.” She explained nonchalantly, she found that people usually found it either wicked or insane that she didn't go to high school, it was easier to play it off as cool. 

“Huh, lucky.” Peter said. 

“You a senior skater Evans?” Called the taller boy. 

“I am.” She called back. 

“Then how come you don’t know how to skate?” The shorter boy called out, cutting off whatever the taller boy was about to say. 

Lily was taken aback, “Pardon me?” 

“I’m just saying, maybe you ought to get your eyes checked, if you can’t seem to watch where you’re going.” The shorter boy said. 

“Maybe you ought to get your eyes checked.” Lily snapped back, “Or maybe you just don't own any mirrors at your house?” She snapped at him. Not one of her finer comebacks, the boy really was too far away for her to see what he looked like, but it had the taller boy cackling which was enough for Lily. 

Peter snickered for a moment, “Don’t mind them,” He said, “They’re prats, both of them!” He said loudly. 

Just then their coaches arrived, Robert Bagnold leading the way, looking quite worn out. He waved Lily over, Lily glanced at Peter before skating towards the adults. She stopped in front of her coach, unsure of whether or not she should be concerned with seeing Mr. Bagnold there. 

“Hello Lily, quite early isn’t it?” Robert said with a slight grimace, trying hard to look optimistic. 

“It is.” Lily said hesitantly. 

“Now, I know that you are in a very important development in your skating career and that the transition from a junior skater to a senior skater is hard to make.” He said kindly, though it was clear he was out of his element, “However, with the shared ice time, I’m afraid we’ll have to limit your jumping time to just Friday and Sunday.” He said. 

Lily felt her heart drop to her stomach. 

“Friday  _ and  _ Sunday?” Hooch said, “You mean you’ll be letting her jump around attacking two out of the three practices we have?” She snapped angrily. 

“Now, please, Rolanda, I’m sure she will be careful about where she jumps and now your boys know to watch out for her when she’s dancing around,” Robert said.

“My boys are in the competitive league, they need to be at the top of their game-” 

“And she needs to be at the top of hers as well.” Robert interrupted, to the surprise of all three women, Augusta who was ready on the defence, closing her mouth. 

“The King’s Cross Skating Club have Olympic Gold Medal alumni, and Ms. Evans has great Olympic potential. It wouldn’t be fair to inhibit that potential.” 

Lily nearly blushed at that, quite touched at the young Bagnold’s words, despite the fact that she was almost sure he had never really seen her skate before, not in competition anyways. 

Coach Hooch scowled slightly at that. “No jumping around on Wednesdays?” She asked for confirmation. 

“No jumping on Wednesdays,” Bagnold confirmed, looking to Lily and Augusta. 

“So be it.” The young coach said, shooting a glare towards Augusta before blowing her whistle, “Lions, half ice! Give and Go Shooting drill. Tonks in the net, line up now.” She yelled before filling the rink with the shrill sound of her whistle once more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when i plotted out the chapter i totally intended to like fully introduce the boys and make this a derby lions centric chapter but things got away from me (and i love my spunky little asian mary macdonald, i need more opportunity for her personality to come out more)   
> this fic is going to be a lot longer then i planned initially, (aka, this burn is going to be slooooooow)   
> i'm going to try and get the next chapters out quickly though i have a lot of muse for them; im sorry about the wait for this one, i saw the incredibles 2 and the flashing lights really wiped me out rip


	5. the NHK trophy, 1976

**Tokyo, Japan. NHK Trophy, 1976**

Tokyo was really beautiful in Autumn. The trees were a painted in beautiful oranges and yellows, and despite winter being right around the corner, the weather was sublime. By the time November had finally arrived though it felt like it had already been a full year, Lily having to claw and pull herself out of October. It had been a living nightmare. 

She wondered why she even bothered to show up to practices on Wednesday at all anymore. They had banned her from jumping, which is what previously her morning practices were practically dedicated to. Now she spent Wednesday working on her speed which of course she could acknowledge was just as important, but it was just so  _ dull,  _ and she had her heart set on landing triples by the end of the season. That goal seemed light years away now. 

The hockey team was ever so irritating. She attempted light conversations with some, like Peter Pettigrew, who was fine though he was easily caught up in the shenanigans of his friends, whose first names she didn’t know so she identified by their jerseys,  _ Potter #4  _ and  _ Black #10.  _ They were menaces. However they did do Lily a favour, getting them banned from pucks on Fridays and sticks on Sundays, after Potter sent a puck flying in Lily’s direction, and in Augusta word’s  _ “Nearly taking her head off!”  _ That did not make him popular with the rest of his mates. 

They weren’t all that bad. There were the Prewett’s, twins,  _ #12  _ and  _ #21  _ which confused not only Lily but the rest of the team which they thought was hilarious.  _ Tonks #1,  _ the goalie, who was a big softie but had a no-nonsense air about him on the ice that the others seemed to respect.  _ Pettigrew #20  _ was Peter though she could usually tell him from his height, though not to be confused with  _ Bones #31  _ who was just a bit shorter than Peter, you could easily tell the two apart though when seeing them from the front, Peter pale as a ghost and Bones quite dark. Then finally  _ Fenwick #19,  _ he was quiet, and while he wasn’t as short as Peter or Bones, he seemed to be quite small in stature. 

The first Sunday after the ‘sticks ban’ the team had shown up to the rink in sweats and jumpers, and no helmets. Lily was shocked and could only identify Peter before they were all put to work, the team set on laps and speed drills and Lily to work her jumps. 

In the teams defense, she  _ had  _ become more consistent with her triples, they hadn't completed stunted her progress, but she certainly wasn’t ready to incorporate them into her program, which perhaps if she did have her regular morning practices she would be, which infuriated her if she thought about it for too long. 

All but Black were shocked (and maybe a bit impressed) when she revealed she would be travelling to Japan for her next competition, he shrugged it off claiming he had been before and it wasn’t all that. Lily rolled her eyes at that, he must be some rich kid whose family travelled a lot.

One good thing to come from sharing the ice though was that her coaching fees went down, which she could see relieved her mother. They weren’t poor, at least not in Lily’s eyes, she was able to travel to competitions and maintain her figure skating schedule, but it was quite the miracle they were able to keep up with the rest of the competitive figure skating world. It was extremely expensive, her mother finding ways to save money where she could, through night shifts and hand making Lily’s skating costumes, which Lily constantly felt guilty and grateful for. If she could just make it up onto the podium consistently, it would start paying for itself. 

Thursday's practices evening were another thing. Thursdays used to work perfectly, Lily and her mother would sit down for an early dinner together before her mother would drive her to the arena on her way to work a night shift at the hospital. However now with the Derby Lions games, it threw that routine completely off schedule, or at least it would have if Lily had told her mum. She didn't want to give her mum another problem to deal with, so instead Lily went to the rink as usual, and waited for their games to be done. 

At first, she refused to watch them play. Firstly, hockey was stupid. And secondly, she was still bitter about the wrench the Derby Lions had thrown in her life. She would bring books to entertain herself while she waited for the games to wrap up, though after a week or two of sitting in the lobby with the same copy of  _ Pride and Prejudice  _ and the same young volunteer staring at her, Lily found herself sitting in the stands of the rink with Jane Austen in her lap. 

That was how she met Remus. 

“What part are you at?” Asked a timid voice from behind her as she sat in the cold stands of the rink. She looked up slightly alarmed, glancing behind her to find a boy whose expression was kind but just as alarmed as hers. “Of your book I mean, Pride and Prejudice right?” He asked. 

Lily nodded with a bit of a smile. 

“So um, what part are you at?” The boy asked again. 

Lily paused, glancing down at her page just to double check, “Chapter thirty-four, Mr. Darcy’s proposal to Elizabeth.” 

The boy beamed, “In vain I have struggled, it will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” He said eagerly before he seemed to realize what he had said and shied away.

Lily could feel herself blushing, though luckily her naturally pink complexion and the cold air saved her from any noticeable changes in her facial pigments. 

“Sorry,” The boy said extremely  embarrassed with himself, “I just love Pride and Prejudice, well Jane Austen really, probably a bit too much.” He said. 

Lily laughed, “That’s all too relatable.” She said, “It’s fine.” 

The boy smiled at that, pausing for a moment and with clear hesitation he got up, walking down the stands and sitting beside Lily though kept a comfortable distance. “My name is Remus.” He said offering his hand. 

Lily smiled taking it, “Lily.” She said giving it a shake.

Remus perked up at that, “Evans?” He asked.

Lily was taken aback and must have been visibly so because soon the other boy was panicking as well, “Oh my god, I must seem like such a creep, I’m so sorry.” He blurted, “I promise I’m not some weirdo stalker, I swear. Just my friends have been talking about a redhead around our age who skates here, and her name was Lily Evans and I figured that it was you.” He stuttered out. 

Lily paused, trying to process what Remus had said, “Who are you friends?” She asked carefully. 

“The idiots down there.” Remus said motioning to the hockey game going on. 

Lily let herself relax a bit, relieved, “Peter?” She asked. 

“And James and Sirius.” He said. 

Lily nodded, she had heard those names thrown around the rink though she wasn’t quite sure which jerseys to associate them with. 

“I’m sorry, I promise I’m not a creep or stalker.” 

Lily laughed, “Okay, okay, though if I find you have any pictures of me I  _ might  _ have to think otherwise” She joked. 

Remus smiled, “Well in that case I ought to go.” He said fake standing up, Lily laughing more. 

Remus sat back down on the bench, though closer this time. 

“So you like hockey?” Lily asked, closing her book subconsciously. 

“God no, just here to watch my mates.” Remus said, “But I am here Tuesday night and Saturday afternoon for curling.” He said. 

“I didn’t know we had a curling league.” Lily said. 

“Not many do, we’re a small group, mostly adults really but curlings in the family.” Remus said. 

The two teens bonded quickly over their shared love for Jane Austen novels, their hatred of hockey, and similar awkward nature. Kindred spirits is what her mother would use to describe the pair. Lily soon looked forwards to the days that the Derby Lions had home games, as she would get to spend her time chatting with Remus. 

All the leaves had turned brown and fallen, October had passed and it was November, and Lily was off to Japan for the NHK Trophy, her final Grand Prix circuit event, that would be the deciding factor in her qualifications for the Finals. Her nerves were high as she boarded the plane to Tokyo, to her short program rehearsal and continued to be through her hot chocolate date with Severus; where she spent the entire time recounting the events of October and complained his ear off about Potter and the other hockey players. She left out Remus though, there was a part of Lily that knew Severus wouldn’t want to hear about how she had befriended a cute curler who quoted 18th-century romantic novelists to her and also shared her hatred for stupid sports that involved waving around sticks. 

That same part of her pushed down the realization that she thought Remus was cute. 

She just did not understand what their issues were, especially Potter’s. It was like they expected her to apologize. It wasn’t like Lily wanted to be sharing the icetime and it was hers in the first place so really, they should be apologizing to her. They barged in on her icetime and then acted like prats about it, completely entitled to what wasn't theirs. Jumping into Peter had been an accident and Peter wasn't even upset, but Potter was like his silver-haired coach and took it as a personal offence, Lily was almost positive that was why he shot the puck at her, even if Potter tried to play it off as an accident and/or joke. 

Severus was furious at that, told Lily to tell those assholes to fuck themselves which she promptly shot down, even though sometimes she found herself very close to during those Wednesday morning practices. He also offered to stop by and beat Potter up, which Lily had to stop herself from laughing at. Not that he wouldn't be able to, though the odds of who would win that fight were more 60:40 in Potter’s favour, but the idea of Severus trying to beat up anyone was a bit laughable. He was, delicate, that’s all. She did good on her part, not to reveal how funny she found that offer to be though, knowing if Severus had noticed he would have spoilt his mood, and then he'd probably complain how she'd ruined his skate or something stupid like that.

The duo made their way back to the arena for the Opening Ceremonies, and Lily met up with her coach, neglecting lunch as her event was second right after the Ice Dancers and she was nervous enough already.

She changed into her short program costume, it was a black long sleeve dress with a high neck. The sleeves were sheer and looped over her middle finger. The skirt was short and layered with tulle, that had red detailings sewn in so it sparkled when she moved. She loved this costume too though not quite as much as her long program’s. This one had a different feeling, mysterious, dangerous, it put her in the right mindset for her program. Augusta helped curl her hair, pulling the loose curls into a tight high ponytail, wrapping the base of the ponytail with a red ribbon. The makeup they chose for this was dark, something that Lily still wasn’t used to seeing on her face, and at first, made her feel more like a raccoon then a lady. However, through more trial and error they figured out how to make the makeup more smokey and less harsh. 

Lily left to warm up, throwing a light jacket over herself before she left. She did some light jogging around the hallways, it wasn’t uncommon, there were plenty of other skaters doing the same. She felt bad, knowing she wouldn’t get to see Frank and Alice skate their Original Dance, if she made the final heat though maybe she could catch their Free Program, though pushed that to the back of her mind, it wasn’t what she needed to be worried about right now. 

She made her way to the room reserved for the skaters to warm up in. They were arranged into their groups, Lily being in the second to last heat again, which she couldn’t complain about, she just had to make sure her short was good enough to put her in the last one again. As they lead the first heat out to the ice she practiced a few jumps in her sneakers, keeping moving to keep her muscles warm, a young Japanese volunteer popping in to give time updates or gather the next heat. Before long a volunteer called out a time update for Lily’s heat, urging them to get their skates on. Lily obliged, changing from her sneakers to her skates and opted to stretch the rest of the time. Soon the same volunteer returned to lead them to the ice, Lily feeling her heart pounding in her chest. 

The NHK Trophy was televised, which didn’t help with Lily’s nerves but she did do a good job at blocking out the cameras. She placed her guards on the boards as she stepped onto the ice for their warm-up time. She lapped the rink a few times before trying out a few jumps. Her short program had the first triple they had ever choreographed into a program. A triple flip, the only triple Lily was semi-comfortable doing. She wasn’t quite consistent with it yet but she had nailed it in Russia. She was careful in her entrance, not quite getting enough speed and stumbled out of it. She bit her lip before catching herself. They were signalled off the ice, Lily hating that she didn’t have time to try again as she left, slipping her guards on. 

Augusta greeted her with her water bottle and a smile, “There won’t be anyone else on the ice to slow you down out there. Just you and the ice Lily.” 

Lily nodded, pacing around closing her eyes as the music of the first girl began, tuning it out. She was fourth to skate, which was agonizing to her. After what felt like an eternity she was led to the ice as the Korean girl before her wrapped up her skate. She slipped her guards off, handing them to Augusta as the girl bowed, and she was tapped on the shoulder to enter the ice.

“On the ice, representing Great Britain, Lily Evans.” 

Lily raised her arms in the air and gave a closed-mouth smile, narrowing her eyes as she did. Raising her nose into the air, presenting your program before you even began was key to a good performance in Augusta’s mind. Lily shared that ideal, finding that it helped her establish the right mindset of a skate. 

She took to center ice, gracefully but sharply striking her opening pose, her head lowered. The murmurs of the audience faded away to silence. As the first notes of her music played she whipped her head up. Danse Macabre, the dance of death. One thing Augusta prided about all of her students is that they all knew how to give good face. Lily’s expression was dark, focused but had a gleam of mischief in it, one of their power words for the program. 

After a brief moment of choreography, Lily prepared for her first technical element, double-axel, double-toe loop. She flowed into the jump elegantly as the music changed from staccato to legato, her landing smooth as if she weighed nothing. 

A quick transition with some footwork that allowed her to show off her flexibility, leaning far back and quickly snapping up when she changed directions. Her next jump was the triple-flip. She took a deep breath through her nose as she entered the jump, knowing as soon as her skates left the ice that she had it. She landed the triple, throwing her hands up with the music, allowing herself a smile before racing off. 

She built up as much speed as she could before her next choreographed sequence, crossing over into an Arabesque Spiral. Gliding seamlessly, keeping her balance Lily had a habit of holding her breath. Shaking only slightly Lily exited her Arabesque and was right into her next and final jump, a double lutz. She took a deep breath, she was hesitant to include the lutz when they choreographed the program, but they had decided that not only this was the year Lily got her triples, it would be the year that she got over that stupid lutz mental block. She entered the double lutz, landing shakily her knee almost giving out, but she threw her other foot down, pushing off and away skating towards her next element. She was finished with the jumps, now it was time to deliver.

A combination spin she built up speed, always feeling in her element in a sharp fast spin, she entered her Layback spin that transitioned into a Biellmann. She exited the spin, throwing herself down sharply and then back up, skating backwards only for a moment before turning and throwing herself into a flying sit spin in a shoot-the-duck variation. 

The music built as she lilted out of the spin, throwing her hands down as she skated across the ice into a powerful step sequence. Kicking her leg and throwing herself into each change of direction, they had created a graceful version of spiralling out of control, where Lily embodied the character of Death and a victim of it simultaneously. Sharp turns and more tossing around of her upper body in sharp beautiful motions. She flew towards center ice, entering her final element, another spin combination. Starting with a camel spin, whipping into a sit spin, changing feet for the final I-spin, holding her skate blade as she spun, as the final notes of her music were plucked, she practically bounced out of her spin, striking her final pose, chin up high. Holding it for only a moment before breaking out into a grin as the audience cheered. 

She smiled, really taking in the audience and the moment as she bowed. Waving a bit as she left the ice, Augusta greeting her with a grin matching her own, handing Lily her skate guards. 

“Well done my dear.” 

Augusta handed Lily her jacket which the redhead quickly slipped on as she took her water bottle from her coach, drinking slowly as they made their way to the Kiss and Cry.

“The scores please,” 

Augusta squeezed Lily’s arm, her coach had a habit of gripping a bit too tightly. 

“Lily Evans from Great Britain has earned a total of  61.17 and currently sits in first place.” 

Augusta glanced a Lily, the two sharing the briefest of looks before her coach wrapped her in a big hug. In Russia she had gotten 61.22, but she also had nailed the lutz. It was enough though to get her into that final heat, both of the women knew it. 

They watched the rest of the ladies skate, paying close attention to the final heat and the girls Lily would be facing in it. Still left to skate were the men’s short program, skating, their short the next morning. As they watched the men’s short early next morning, the whole arena was drawn in to Regulus from the Walpurgis Club. He had an exquisite energy, and he was quite lean and had a feminine look to him under his mop of black hair. He took the lead in the men’s event. Frank and Alice were leading the ice dancing. A Japanese duo led the pairs event, and the ladies was led by a Russian skater who Lily recognized as the Silver medalist from the Rostelecom Cup, Bellatrix didn’t land her axel in her short, and fell behind into second. Lily ended up in fourth, in the final group. If she could nail her long program she had a chance for the podium which filled her with a nervous energy.

There was a break for lunch as the men’s short wrapped up and they reset the ice for the ice dancers. Lily took a few sips of a smoothie throughout lunch and the beginning of the ice dancer’s free programs, not paying too much attention to the early heats. Ice Dancing was thoroughly entertaining when done at a high enough level, but anything that wasn’t next to that standard was usually quite boring. You needed to have speed, strength, and the innovation to create something completely unique to really capture the audience, and more importantly the judges. 

When it was finally time for the final heat Lily perked up. Dolohov and Malfoy were first to skate, and for the first time at least to Lily, they seemed to finally have a skate with minimal errors. It wasn’t perfect, but at least no one was dropped. 

“On the ice, representing Great Britain, Alice Fortescue and Francis Longbottom.” 

Lily felt her coach sit up as her son and his partner took the ice. The two women sat fairly close to the ice which in Lily’s opinion wasn’t really that good of a view, but she wanted to be able to go right to the changerooms as soon as the ice dancers event wrapped up. Besides, they had already seen the program once, Lily could use this new angle to take in the faces and the emotion behind the program this time. 

The two ice dancers took their place on the ice, their music starting and filling the room and it was like Lily was watching someone else, in both a good way in bad. They completely embodied their characters and the music, they transformed on the ice, however, there was something different about them, even just from the last time they saw them skate in Russia. Their usual flow and style seemed dampened, there was something tense about the way they skated today. Augusta seemed to notice as well, her mouth twisting as she watched the pair. Lily played it off as them adapting to their new coach and club’s style, though Frank’s facial expressions seemed off, and Alice seemed to have completely dropped the characterization she had about a minute into the program, about halfway through the program, as they were about to enter their second lift was when it was clear though that something was wrong. 

They were close enough to see them talking into each other’s ears, as Frank moved for Alice’s leg to lift her, she grabbed his arm to stop him, pulling away slightly to look at him, concerned. Frank nodded though, and the pair executed the lift, only for seconds though, Frank quickly putting Alice down his face twisted. The two stopped dancing completely though continued to skate, it was clear to the whole audience now that there was an issue as the duo talked, gliding across the ice, Frank looking as though he wanted to continue, taking wrist gently though Alice shaking her head and moving his hand to her own. The two talked for what seemed like a long time for the few seconds it really was, before Alice came to a full stop, giving Frank a look, that stopped him as well. Lily felt her coach next to her still as Alice skated towards the judges and the music stopped, the rink dead silent. Alice briefly talked with the judges before skating back to Frank, giving him some support as they skated towards their coach.

Lily looked to Augusta for any information on what was happening but her coach stayed silent, watching the ice dancers as they talked to their coach, who seemed to be even less understanding in what was happening, discussing quietly with the duo, or really rather Alice as to what happened, while Frank stood by, his mouth and eyes shut, holding onto the boards tightly, evident now that he was in pain.  

After talking by the boards, their coach helped Frank exit the ice, as Alice skated back to the judges and continued to talk to them. 

Lily looked to Augusta again, who turned to her, “Go on and get changed, I’ll be along to do your hair in a moment.” 

Lily hesitated but nodded, quickly getting up from the stands and heading to the changerooms with her sports bag. The change rooms were busy, full of female ice dancers, who were buzzing about what had just happened moments ago on the ice. She tried to ignore what they were saying as she undressed, pulling her long program costume on. Just as she was packing away her day clothes a girl still in her skates bustled into the changeroom whisper-shouting “Great Britain just withdrew!” 

“Which ones?” A girl asked. 

“Are you an idiot?” A girl snapped who Lily recognized as an American ice dancer, “Obviously Fortescue and Longbottom.” She said. 

“Who was in fourth?” Another asked. 

“Great Britain was, the other two.” Someone answered. 

“Isn’t  _ that  _ interesting” 

Lily quickly threw her things together and left the changerooms, wanting out of that small festering space as the women continued to gossip. She quickly walked down the hallway, digging through her bag for her jacket, walking to find a quiet spot, just to get away from all the people and chatter. She finally found a quiet hallway, quickly turning the corner nearly running into Alice who was leaning against the wall. Alice blinked, surprised to see Lily, she was still in her costume and skates, clearly not having gone back to the change rooms yet. 

“You looking for your coach?” Alice asked quietly. 

Lily glanced past the ice dancer, to see Augusta sitting on a bench down the hall with Frank next to her. Frank had his skates and socks off, and the legs of his costume rolled up over his shins. He was hunched over, his head in his hands, Augusta rubbing his back.

“Viktor went for more ice packs.” She said with a soft sigh. 

“What happened?” Lily asked matching Alice’s volume, as if they were talking in secrets, “It’s fine if you don’t-” 

“It’s fine,” Alice said cutting her off, “he’s always had issues with the shins even in Derby, but they’ve been cramping like mad lately, and he can’t skate let alone lift me when they do.” She said glancing back at her partner, “He had a doctor’s appointment for right when we get back home, he didn’t want to go before and the doctor tell him he wasn’t allowed to compete, stubborn ass.” She said, joking but her smile was weak. 

“I’m sorry.” Lily offered. 

“It’s fine, better it happen now then at worlds.” 

Lily held her tongue, about to ask what it meant for the Grand Prix Finals and them but she already knew the answer. You needed two top scores from two events to qualify. They wouldn't be getting one here.

“Excuse me little girl, you should not be back here.” A man with a thick accent said firmly, though his voice was hushed the way the two girls had been speaking.

“Viktor it’s fine, she’s an old teammate.” Alice told her coach, Viktor Avery Senior, who gave Lily a suspicious look before heading to Frank, putting ice on his shins. 

“How are you feeling?” Viktor asked.

“It still burns.” Frank said, his eyes tightly shut.

“You should not be skating if it’s been hurting we have talked about this,” Augusta began. “You should think about taking the season off if it continues, one season versus the rest of your life.” She said, though it seemed like they had had this conversation before.

Frank didn’t respond though he didn’t look too happy at that, however, he didn’t really look too happy to begin with. His nostrils flared as he breathed in and out slowly, his fists curled tightly against his legs. 

“If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to speak with my students privately about their skating and the current season.” Viktor said turning to Augusta. 

“She’s his mother, she has some say.” Alice interjected, earning her a look from Viktor. 

“I know my son’s coach would not like me to interfere with her coaching and I respect that, I would ask if she would respect my wishes as well.” 

“He’s hurt, you can’t expect-” Alice began though Augusta cut her off as she stood. 

“I understand, I’ve got my own skaters to attend to.” She said walking towards Lily, Frank’s eyes open now, staring straight down not meeting his Mother or Alice’s eyes. 

“Augusta really you don’t have to-” 

“I hope you have a safe travel back,” Augusta said to Alice lightly touching the ice dancers shoulder before continuing down the hall, “Come along Lily, you’ve got a long program to skate.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a strong love-hate relationship with this chapter, oh boy i almost was just going to scrap it and re-write it but we're just gonna keep pushing on with this story - it's not gonna be perfect (i want to get it done before the end of summer but at the rate im going it doesn't seem likely)  
> so update: i'm not going to do any compulsory skates i never really grew up with them they were discontinued or i didn't pay attention when they were around. so for ice dance there is the original/short which ive kind of combined into one thing (this my disclaimer that i'm probably gonna mess up and call them short and original interchangeably) for singles there is the short and long/free program (keepin it simple) AND i've updated lily's score at the rostelecom cup it was waaaay too high, i'm basing it off of 2005 currently and like they will improve as she does  
> god i made this so complicated for myself i should have just modern AU'd it but we're on this ship now too late 
> 
> side note: god remus is such a lil awkward 16yr old, he'll grown into that snark+more snark when he's with his bois  
> another side note: updated the ships, yea remus/sirius is def happening (there are other ships in there but like they are minor im not gonna spam anyone with this messy fic for like a second of a ship 
> 
> god soo mannnny noootes ! but thank you for reading so far ! sorry im a mess i promise i have a big doc and power point of it alllll planned out ! thank you so much for the kudos and comments they really are so nice and are super motivating ! ! )


	6. the derby lions pt. 2, 1976

**Derby, England. Post-NHK Trophy, 1976**

She didn’t make the Grand Prix Finals. She didn’t make the podium in Japan her Free Skate ending up to be just short of a disaster. She was completely distracted, flubbing her key jumps, barely emoting or expressing throughout the program, or at least not the right emotions. One of Augusta’s harsher notes being that she had a stricken look on her face the entire skate, like she was constipated. She hadn’t made the podium in Russia either though she fared much better there then she did at the NHK Trophy, so she wasn’t really sure what she was expecting. Not third alternate, which quite frankly was not half bad for her second year as a senior. Competing next to all of these older skaters (or prodigies like Regulus) was starting to warp her perception of herself and where she needed to be. Third Alternate for the Grand Prix Finals, she was so close she could taste it. She had three more seasons before the Olympic year, two if you didn’t count the season leading up to the Olympics. She had until then to get herself to the top of the podium, and she was going to do it. Even if she had to drag and claw her way there, she was not going to stop until she was looking down from the top of that podium, with gold around her neck. 

This is what she told Augusta, who smiled before immediately put her to work drilling her triples, _ “Well my dear, the girls with the gold have their triples.”  _

Frank had come to Derby to meet with his sports doctor, one he had been seeing since he starting skating competitively though he hadn’t seen since he’d moved and even then it had been a while since they’d met with him. Chronic exertional compartment syndrome, which sounded a lot worse than it really was: according to Frank. It was a muscle and nerve condition, commonly caused by repetitive activity and overtraining. He had always had issues with his legs, but after the move to Birmingham, they got worse and worse until it was just unbearable.

His doctor wanted to operate which Frank immediately objected to. Nothing that would pull him from the season. Once the NHK Trophy had officially wrapped up and the scores submitted, they received an offer from Skate America, to compete there at the end of November, the last qualifying event for the Grand Prix Finals, being the Olympic Champions had its perks. So Frank was given non-operative solutions which included some medication, a strict stretching regimen, and frequent breaks and massages. He spent a week in Derby, when he wasn’t at the doctor's or being forced to rest by his Father, he was at the rink. Any tension that was between the mother and son seemed to have resolved itself. Mary was extremely happy to see the older boy, always having somewhat of a brotherly-sisterly bond with each other; a product of not actually having siblings in Lily’s opinion, Lily herself having  _ no  _ desire for any more siblings, the one she had was enough to handle. 

November came and went, Frank returning to Birmingham to train and then headed to Lake Placid for Skate America. Lily could imagine the disappointment of any of the ice dancers competing there when they found out that the Olympic Champions would be competing with them, quite disheartening to say the least. They took the gold there and came out in the top spot for the Grand Prix Finals. 

So she wasn’t going to the Grand Prix Finals, and she was almost glad she wasn’t, because now she had to prep for British Nationals which gave her a chill every time she thought about it. After a less than satisfactory performance in Japan, the possibility of what happened last year at the British Nationals happening again was all too real. 

At first, it was just a bit of worrying, but she could laugh it off and just tell herself to train harder. But as the month continued and British Nationals got closer and closer, it got worse and worse. She lost her appetite or when she did eat would feel sick after, at practice if she messed up anything whether it be not landing a jump or if Augusta had to correct her posture she would shutdown after the practice, heading straight to her room and would lay on her bed distressed. And the overthinking she did these days was getting to the point of insanity, any little change in not just her program but her life she thought was a sign of something terrible. 

She shared nearly all of this with Remus, really she practically shared her entire life with him at this point, he just was so easy to talk to and he just seemed to completely understand whatever it was she was talking about. Not to mention she didn’t have to wait until competitions to see him. That wasn’t really fair to Severus, besides it’s not like she could only have one male friend. Remus was a better listener, he offered more solutions then cussing or beating people up, and he didn’t look at her like she was crazy when she told him about her stress. 

“Wait, sorry I’m lost, tell me again what is the big deal about the British Nationals?” Remus asked. 

“Last year at British Nationals, I didn’t land a single jump in my long program.” Lily said, “It was my first year as a senior, and I just completely blew it.” 

“Okay, so, you’re worried it’s going to happen again?” Remus asked. 

Lily nodded in response. 

“Well, that’s kind of stupid Lily.” Remus said, Lily a bit shocked at his bluntness and Remus catching that adding a soft, “Sorry but it is.” 

“How’s that?” Lily asked only a bit offended. 

“Lily that was last year, and it was your first year. You were nervous and much less experienced than you are now.” 

“But-” 

“But nothing, you’ve had a pretty good track record so far haven’t you?” 

“Not with my free,” Lily said.

“But both times it was just you getting in your head.” Remus said, “Don’t let it happen again.” He said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. 

“I suppose.” Lily sighed. 

“I know it’s easier said than done, but that’s really it Lily.” Remus said as the Derby Lions scored and the crowd of people- albeit a small one, erupted into cheers. “Shit, did you see who got that one?” 

Lily shook her head, “Maybe Potter?” She offered. 

“God if it’s Sirius he’ll kill me for not watching,” Remus muttered before clapping extra loudly as if he could feel the players on the ice looking at him for a reaction. 

“Which one is he?” Lily asked hesitantly which earned her a confused look from Remus. 

“Sirius? Number ten.” Remus said slowly, as if the information was obvious, “You’ve been like skating with them for a month now haven’t you?” 

“Almost two,” Lily said though realized after that it didn’t really help her case. 

“Have they not introduced themselves?” Remus asked.

Lily shook her head, “Not really, only Peter.” She said. 

“Oh my god.” Remus said rubbing the bridge of his nose for a moment, “Those assholes.” 

The game wrapped up relatively quickly the Derby Lions winning 2-1. Lily wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad score, she’d watched more hockey in this past month and a half then she had in her life, the rules were still a bit shaky to her. Remus insisted that she stay and meet the team, they all went out on Thursdays after their games so they would all be together in one place which intimidated Lily a bit, despite spending her Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays with them or rather alongside them. She wasn’t really “with” them on the ice. 

They had to wait awhile for them all to get changed, it didn’t as long as she thought it would, though if Lily was in all of that heavy sweaty gear after a game, she supposed she would want it off as quickly as possible too. 

Peter was the first to emerge with who Lily knew to be Bones, looking thrilled once he saw Lily and Remus, “Lily good to see you!” He said, throwing his bag over his shoulder.

“Good game Peter.” Remus said putting an arm around his mate giving him on the back, “Wish we saw you out there more.” 

“Yeah me too.” Peter said a bit dejected but didn’t let his good mood falter. 

“Tell Potter to stop hogging the ice, Lily you already know him, but this is Peter Pettigrew, he is the second line centre.” Remus said proudly, giving Peter’s shoulder before shifting his focus to the younger boy, “And that, is Edgar Bones, he plays second line defense.” 

Edgar smiled at Lily, “Didn’t get much time tonight either, but Nottingham’s pretty tough, we needed Gid and Fab out there tonight.” 

“Speaking of the devil’s,” Remus started as two lanky identical redheads emerged from the change rooms who had clearly tuned into the conversation, “This is-” 

“Fabian Fredrik Prewett at your service love,” One of the redheads stepped forwards shaking her hand earnestly with a wink, “If any of these gits give you a hard time during practice just let me know, I’ll put one through their skull in a  _ heartbeat. _ ” 

Lily laughed a bit out of shock and the forwardness, managing a “Thank you,” as Fabian continued to shake her hand.

“Anything for a darling redhead like yourself, in fact actually-” Fabian began before being pulled away by his twin. 

“Would you cool it Fab? Jesus,” The other redhead said rolling his eyes before looking at Lily, “Gideon, pleasure to meet you formally.” 

“I can’t believe that none of you introduced yourselves to her,” Remus said. 

“I did!” Peter whined.

“Exactly, all but  _ Peter _ ? Seriously?” 

“She’s intimidating that’s all.” Piped a quiet voice from the entrance of the changerooms who stood with a much taller dark-skinned boy.  

“It’s the hair I think.” The taller boy said, “Reminds me of Gid too much I think.” 

“And not me?” Fabian asked, dramatically offended. 

“ _ You’re  _ not scary like Gid is.” The boy said back smirking as both Fabian and Gideon made noises of complaint as he approached Lily. “The name’s Theodore, but everyone else calls me Ted or Tonks,” 

“Teddy if you’re feeling  _ fun _ ” Fabian added. 

Ted rolled his eyes at that, “Sorry for not introducing ourselves sooner, there isn’t much excuse but I’ll say it was just morning mind, I’m never really quite awake on those early morning practices.” He said with a charming smile, before nudging the small thin boy next to him. 

“Ben, Benjy I mean.” He said quietly, “I meant it as a compliment when I said intimidating,” He offered sheepishly. 

Lily laughed a bit at that as Remus chimed in, “Ted is the goalie and Benjy is the right winger.” 

“On fire tonight on the ice he was,” Ted said wrapping an arm around Benjy, “Snagging us the first point.” 

“Well done,” Lily managed to slip in as Remus called out, “Yes very proud, and that second winning goal, spectacular play by…” He said waiting for someone to fill in the end until it was obvious no one was going to say anything he huffed, “One of you prats better fess up before-” 

“Remus!” 

Remus served a glare to the hockey players as a lanky boy with a messy flop of dark hair practically flung himself onto Remus, arm around his shoulder looking as though he was putting all of his body weight onto the curler. “Did you watch?” He asked cheekily, earning an eye roll from Remus. 

“If I’m here do you think I didn’t?” 

“Are you proud?”

“Very.” Remus said removing the hockey player from his shoulder, who immediately latched right back on, though more casually.

“You should be, he played really well tonight.” Another boy said as he emerged from the changerooms, walking straight to Remus and the other boy.

“You two knob-heads should be ashamed of yourselves,” Remus chastised, “You’ve spent nearly a month without introducing yourselves?” 

“What do you mean?” The first boy with the mop of hair asked. 

Remus rolled his eyes, “This is Sirius Black, local idiot, plays left wing and-” 

“Winning point scorer.” Sirius added.

“Sure. And this is James Potter,” Remus gestured to the second boy, who was adjusting his glasses. “Local prat who plays centre.” 

“I don’t know what’s got you so miffed,” James said looking to Remus, “all of this introduction tosh.” 

“You didn’t bother to get to know each other despite spending three mornings a week with her?” Remus said as if it was obvious; which to be fair it was. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, we know each other quite well, don’t we Daisy?” James said, giving Lily a smug look.

Sirius rolled his eyes moving towards the spectacled boy, “Shut up Prongs,” giving him a hard but playful nudge in the gut with his elbow, “We know who you are Lily Evans, great skate by the way at the NHK, love the sexist commentary,  _ fiery ferocious and sexy. _ ” Sirius quoted. 

Lily blinked for a moment, “You what?” 

Sirius laughed, “Your short, Potter and I watched it.” He said smugly as James shot him a look of betrayal. “You think you’re gonna beat Bellatrix at nationals this year?” He asked Lily not having time to respond let alone process what Sirius had said before Potter interrupted. 

“What are we waiting for, can we go now?” James said irritated, moving to stand by Peter. 

“We’re waiting for Andy.” Peter said. 

“She’s here,” Fabian said as Ted put down his hockey bag moving to greet her. 

“What are we doing tonight anyways?” Peter asked. 

“Bowling? Milkshakes? General mischief?” Fabian suggested. 

“Thought we agreed on the drive-in, it’s Thursday so five bucks a car.” Gideon said. 

“What’s the hold up?” An older girl, Andy, asked, Ted’s arm around her. 

“Good question.” James said beginning to head for the doors.

“That’s Andromeda Black, Ted’s girlfriend, Sirius’ cousin.” Remus said to Lily who looked at him shocked.

“Andromeda Black?” She asked quietly her mouth agape. 

“Yes?” Remus said as Sirius laughed. 

“Andy, you should meet Lily.” Sirius called over, “She’s a skater. Gonna be giving Bella a run for her money this year.”

“Andromeda Black is your cousin?” Lily asked Sirius, “You’re a Black skater?  _ Do  _ you skate?” Lily asked rapidly. 

Sirius laughed as Andromeda approached, “You’re a skater?” She asked. 

Lily nodded, she felt like she had known Andromeda for years. She had been a constant rival to Frank and Alice since they were young. When they were all juniors they constantly competed for the top spot, and they continued that competitive relationship until just two years ago, when Andromeda Black quit out of nowhere, and Adelaide Dolohov took her place. It was clear after that who was the stronger duo, Dolohov and Malfoy had yet to reach anywhere near where the heights that Malfoy achieved when he skated with Andromeda. All of those years though, spent knowing of her but never seeing her off the ice. She was taller then Lily, her hair was cut shorter then it was when she skated and sat around her shoulders, she smiled at the redhead, a smile that felt genuine and much more kind than the one Lily was used to seeing plastered onto her face when she was on the ice. It was almost foreign to her.

“You skated with Fortescue and Longbottom? They’ve had quite the season so far, undefeated if you don’t count NHK and I don’t.” Andromeda said, “How is Longbottom doing?” 

“He’s well,” Lily said, “They’re going to finish the season.” 

“That’s good to hear, and you’re a singles skater?” Andromeda asked. 

Lily nodded again, finding herself at a loss for words. She didn’t know how to approach this conversation. 

“She’s gonna be giving Bella a hard time that’s for sure.” Sirius said. 

Andromeda smiled at that, “Good, someone ought to knock her off the top, get that ego in check.” She joked to Sirius. 

“Can we  _ please  _ go?” James called.

“Alright stop getting your knickers in a twist!” Sirius called back. 

“Why doesn’t she come along?” Andromeda suggested, “I mean if you want to.” She said to Lily. 

Before Lily could answer James did for her, “She can’t she’s got practice.” 

Sirius rolled his eyes as Andromeda glanced back at James, “Oh, well, I’ll see you around then Lily. Good meeting you.” She said turning to walk with Ted.

“Don’t know what snake crawled up his ass and died.” Sirius said, “We’ll see you tomorrow Evans.” 

“Bye Lily.” Remus quickly said as Sirius pulled him away. 

Lily watched them leave, slightly in disbelief at what had just happened, not even having time to acknowledge Potter, or rather James’ rudeness. Andromeda Black, the girl she had known for years as someone to dislike, was the boy she’d been skating with for nearly two months cousin, which meant the boy she had been skating with for nearly two months, was apart of the Black skating family, which must absolutely mean that at one point he was a skater.  

She bombarded Mary with questions when she arrived to practice that night, who claimed to not have made the connection either. They didn’t have much time though to discuss the new development, Augusta putting them to work right away, another jumping session which as much as Lily appreciated, was quite frankly exhausting. Luckily though it wore her out completely, that by the time she got home she practically collapsed into bed, not spending another moment thinking about the discovery she had made that night. 

The next morning however, up bright and early, it was fresh on her mind. She raced to the rink, quickly throwing her skates on and hitting the ice, happy to see that many of the hockey players, specifically Sirius, were already there. 

“Sirius!” She commanded skating towards him. 

“Oh, hello Evans, fancy seeing you here.” Sirius grinned. 

“How could you not tell me that Andromeda Black was your cousin?” Lily asked. 

“How could you not know? I mean how many people with the last name Black who look  _ this  _ good do you know?” Sirius asked. 

Lily cornered the hockey player, attacking him with questions though again was cut short by their respective coaches putting them to work. During a water break, the two found themselves leaning against the away team boards together, Lily highly taken with the conversation, Sirius more amused if anything. 

“So you were a pairs skater.” She said. 

“Yes, and to be quite frank I’m a little hurt that you didn’t know.” Sirius joked. 

“How was I to?” 

“You knew who Andromeda was.” He pointed out. 

“That’s only because of Frank and Alice.” 

“Well, it’s not like our clubs have only ever attending the same events, for like _ever_.” 

“This is only my second senior year.” Lily protested.

“Still though.” Sirius scolded. 

“Who was your partner?” 

“My cousin, Narcissa.” Sirius said, “She’s not too bad, but her new partner is a complete dolt.” 

“When did you quit.” 

“Right after we finished our senior debut, so two years ago.” 

“Your senior debut was when you were fourteen?” Lily asked.

“Mostly because of my cousin, she’s older and she really carried us. I definitely wasn’t ready to compete with seniors.” Sirius back tracked, “But they always start young at Walpurgis.” 

“Your brother debuted the same year as me.” Lily said. 

Sirius nodded, “Yeah, but he was actually ready for it.” He said.

“He is quite good.” Lily said, though she knew quite good was quite the understatement. 

“He really is.” 

Lily wanted to ask more about Regulus, while she would never admit it, she really was fan of him, but it was clear from the hockey players face that his brother seemed to be a soft subject, and Lily would have rather not come off as some stalkerish fan so she let it be, redirecting the subject. “You said you and Potter watched my skates in Japan?” She asked. 

“Only caught the short, busy weekend, what did you end up placing? You had podium potential.” 

“Well, I’m glad you only saw the short.” Lily said grimacing, “Sixth, I completely bombed the free.” 

“Who can blame you though, all that rotten shit that went down with the ice dancers I’m sure created a  _ spectacular  _ mindset for how the rest of the comp’ was going to go.” Sirius quipped. 

“God you  _ get it _ ” Lily said. 

“At a certain point it’s honestly just about headspace, it’s not as though you don’t have the technique, you certainly do, I wasn’t joking when I said you were going to be giving Bellatrix a run for her money.” 

“Might you say that you were-” 

“ _ Evans _ .” He warned. 

“ _ Sirius? _ ” She asked with a grin. 

“Alright, goodbye.” Sirius said as Lily laughed, “You’re so original Evans, I totally haven’t heard that one before.” He said pushing off of the boards. 

“No no, I’m sorry!” Lily called though continued to laugh. 

“I  _ really  _ enjoyed the commentary on the short,” Sirius said sarcastically. 

“I haven’t seen it, I don’t think I could handle watching other people watching me.” She said. 

“Oh, great commentator, totally not inappropriate in any way-” Sirius said rolling his eyes.

“God really?” 

“ _ A ferocious energy from Evans. Dominant and sexy.”  _ Sirius mocked with an over-exaggerated upper RP. “ _ Quite the firecracker, beautiful red hair. Gorgeous sexy gown. She’s quite the tiger.”  _

“Oh god.” Lily said making a face. 

“Absolutely disgusting, especially given how old that maggot was.” Sirius said, “If it makes you feel any better though, James was rightly miffed over it.” 

“Really?” Lily asked, quite skeptical. 

“Really really,” Sirius said, “He was up yelling at the box, his mum had to come in and yell at him to stop yelling.” 

“Sounds productive.” 

The shrill blare of Coach Hooch’s whistle interrupted their conversation, “Lions, line up. Speed drills.” She commanded. Lily didn’t care to admit that the older woman still intimidated her. 

“He was quite impressed too,” Sirius added, “though I wouldn’t take his untrained eye over mine.” He smirked, “But he thought you were quite brilliant.” 

“I find that difficult to believe.” Lily said.

“Suit yourself Evans.” The hockey player said with his signature grin, before quickly skating over to the rest of his team. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some parts of this fic feel really juvenile, so i'm sorry for that ! im trying to keep the chapters shorter and more consistent updates (which stops me from i think really fine tuning the writing but ! ! it's fan fic ! and its good enough 4 me lol) 
> 
> also shameless frank and alice are tessa and scott, not srry abt it 
> 
> also sirius black being a figure skater is my favourite part of this fic tbh. his character inspo board on my pinterest is bUMPIN


	7. british national figure skating championships, 1976

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TAGS UPDATED: added anxiety, panic attacks  
> future tags will be updated with chapters, but i will /always/ put a note beforehand when there is an update !  
> (i'm also so sorry the chapter took 10 days, it shouldn't have, thanks for being patient with me!)

**Richmond, London. British Figure Skating Championship, 1976.**   


Lily Evans had some terrible habits, two in particular that her coach had tried to crack down on in regards to her figure skating career. Biting her lip, and holding her breath. Luckily she knew better than to hold her breath during a performance, though unfortunately, she knew by learning the hard way from her days as a junior. Passing out on the ice during her short program at Junior Nationals was another bad nationals experience that took years to let go of. She managed to overcome that bad experience, which was something she clung to, hopefully. However another part of Lily’s mind reminded her that it just was another sign that nationals were cursed for her, she would never have a truly successful nationals, and that this year would be exactly like last year, humiliating. 

She saw a sports therapist, well she was  _ her  _ sports therapist but she wasn’t a specialist. She was a student in fact, which helped Lily afford her sessions. Molly was in her last year of studies at the  Derby Lonsdale College of Higher Education, she was also a young mother of two, and with another on the way. If Lily remembered correctly she was due in August. Mrs. Weasley who really did prefer Molly was kind, and a perfect fit compared to the other shrinks she had seen over the years. Molly didn’t try to analyze her like a project, she didn’t put her under a microscope to poke at her, she didn’t even try to diagnose her, which Lily was sure she could, she had probably given Molly enough material to write textbooks on. She offered the support Lily needed purely in her relation to figure skating, which is all Lily wanted, and sometimes, Lily wrote the occasional statement on how she felt Molly’s sessions were for her professors. 

They had a session before nationals, Augusta made sure of that, knowing it was essential. It was helpful at the time, though the appointment was two and a half weeks before nationals. Molly gave Lily tips as she usually did, and they refocused on things in the past that had worked for Lily. Visualization was a big one, being able to picture herself on the ice, successful. Molly was the one who helped Lily develop her mantra,  _ create the moment, capture the feeling.  _

Seeing Molly always helped. Even if Lily left feeling unconfident in herself, Molly always had confidence in Lily, and sometimes just that reminder was enough. 

So Lily had left her session with Molly feeling refreshed, ready. Though as the weeks passed Lily quickly spiralled back into the mindset that failure was imminent. Which had her slipping into two of her bad habits. And while she had learned her lesson on holding her breath on the ice, it didn’t apply to off the ice, which is where she found herself now, sitting in the front seat of Augusta’s van, holding her breath anytime she wasn’t directly addressed. 

Her coach however caught onto the redhead's antics, however, her coach had different methods to each of Lily’s bad habits. For the lip biting it was a mix of reminder and chastising. For breath holding, which usually was a tell of the situation being a bit more serious for the redhead, Augusta focused on keeping the girl talking. Bombarding her with open-ended questions, keeping the girl talking and less focused on breathing, more on how to answer whatever strange question her coach was asking now. 

They arrived at the rink, up at the crack of dawn to get there this early. The men and pairs skaters got to rehearse this morning, ladies and ice dancers in the afternoon. Opening ceremonies first thing the next morning, and then all the short programs in the same order. She had time to get her nerves under control, besides, she was good at her short dance. She had been killing her short dance. She could do that.

She watched the men rehearse, Augusta leaving her side to meet with Frank, though she was distracted in the back of her mind she was glad that the two of them were speaking again. She hated feeling the need to pick sides with them. Severus took the ice, rehearsing his short, but Lily didn’t pay too much attention, her mind wandering, not realizing how completely zoned out she was until Severus was standing before her. 

“Lily?” 

The redhead blinked, looking up at Severus confused, “Shouldn’t you be on the ice?” She asked. 

“The men finished their rehearsal like, twenty minutes ago.” He said, “You didn’t meet me in the lobby like you usually do, but I saw you in the stands when I was on the ice, so I figured you were on your way, or in the bathroom or something but you weren’t.” 

“Oh,” Lily said, trying not to let herself be too concerned over that. She just let time slip away from her that’s all, her mind was too busy to keep track of the time. 

“Lily are you alright?” He asked. 

“I’m fine.” Lily said standing. 

“Are you sure because-” 

“I’m fine, let’s go.” Lily said, “Are we trying a new place today or just the usual?” She asked changing the subject. 

“I suppose the usual then,” Severus said, letting Lily lead the way out of the stands. 

Lily listened to Severus talk over their cups of hot chocolate, well she wasn’t really listening. Her mind was wandering off again. Staring down at her mug, her mind completely blank, Severus only just catching on that she wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying.

“Lily.  _ Lily.”  _

She glanced at Severus, though still didn’t pay too much mind, “What?” 

“Are you sure you’re alright?” 

“Just a bit tired Sev, that’s all.” Lily said, shifting her grip on her cup. 

“I’m not sure,” Severus said, “Lily I don’t,-” he paused his mouth twisting a bit, “I don’t think you should skate today.” 

This captured Lily’s attention, she looked at Severus, an eyebrow raised, “Really?” She asked with a small laugh.

“I’m not kidding Lily.” Severus said, “You don’t seem well.” 

Lily frowned now at this, “What do you mean by that?” She asked a bit defensively.

“You seem out of it, I don’t want you going out there and skating a skate you won’t be proud of, or getting hurt or-” 

“What do you know?” Lily snapped at him, Severus looking a bit shocked. 

“Lily I-” 

“You are not my coach, I don’t need you worrying over me as if you are.” 

“I’m not trying to, I’m just thinking of what’s best for you.” 

“I’d prefer if you kept your thoughts to yourself because crazily enough, you don’t know what’s best for me and I don’t appreciate you pretending that you do.” 

Severus stared at her for a moment, there was no anger or sadness behind his gaze, just thinking. He took a deep breath through his nose, looking at Lily in the eyes, “I know you are worried and upset, thinking that what happened here last year is going to happen again this year, I understand that.” He started, “But you are not allowed to take that out on me when I am only trying to help you.” 

“I don’t know why it’s hard for you to understand, that I don’t need your help.” Lily said, “You constantly act like my superior, we are the same age, every time you  _ try  _ to help, you demean me, I’m sick of it!” Her voice raising slightly, feeling people looking at them, she paused closing her eyes for a moment. 

She took a deep breath. She did not need this. Not today, not right now, and certainly not here, airing out their dirty laundry to the customers and staff of their favourite chain, right before a performance. She was on edge, Severus happened to be right about that. She was worried, it was making her upset, which is why she didn’t need to deal with his superiority complex today- and this wasn’t coming from nowhere, no she wasn’t going to let her emotions to be blamed for how she interpreted Severus’ behaviour. Her emotions just stopped her from refraining to call him out. 

It had been like this since he had moved to Birmingham, to the Walpurgis Club. Acting as though he took skating more seriously than her, that despite what their scores and results said, he was the better skater.

On her better days, she could deal with it though. They only really saw each other now four, maybe five times a year? She’d rather not spend them fighting, she could look past it, but not today. She had enough on her plate. She had enough. 

She reached for her purse, quickly digging for a tip, placing it on the table before standing, Severus looking genuinely shocked at this, “Lily-” He started. 

She turned, silencing him with a look. Holding his gaze for a moment before turning and marching out of the coffee shop. She walked right back to the arena, not looking back, she felt the anger steaming off of her. She carried that anger with her during her rehearsal, through dinner that evening, and all through the night at the hotel. 

She woke up angry still, but she was willing to let go of it. She needed to. She went to the rink in the morning with Augusta for the Opening Ceremonies, the two women sitting in the stands with Frank and Alice to watch the men’s short programs. Sitting in the stands though watching Severus perform only made her angry again, and she found herself stewing and grinding her teeth through the rest of the men’s short programs. As Frank and Alice left to prepare for the ice dance event, Augusta glanced at Lily, giving her a look of concern that Lily shook off. She was  _ fine.  _

As the pairs short programs concluded, Lily left with Augusta to prepare for her own event. Walking down the stands and exiting the rink she walked down the hallway with her sports bag over her shoulder. Turning the corner to see Severus waiting at the end of the hallway, just far enough from the women’s change room so it didn’t seem like he was a creep. They made eye contact, Severus beckoning Lily over which she promptly ignored, heading straight towards the safety of the changerooms. 

As soon as they entered Augusta broke the silence between the two, “What happened?” She asked. 

Lily remained quiet as she got her costume out of her bag. 

“Suit yourself, but I don’t want whatever  _ that  _ is, affecting your skate today.” 

Lily sighed at that, “Well I don’t either.” She said frustrated, “He just, he’s so pompous!” She said, struggling to find the right words. “He constantly demeans me, treats me like I’m stupid like he’s better than me, I’m sick of it.” She said, though when she said it out loud it sounded much simpler then it felt.

Augusta frowned deeper at that. “That’s interesting, I can’t seem to understand how he would come to that conclusion, but interesting.” She said her eyes narrowing. 

Lily smiled a bit at that, appreciative of her coach as she continued “Go get changed, then we’ll fix your hair, and you can let the results speak for themselves.” 

She was thankful for her coach, especially in moments like these. Augusta knew her, knew how to help her, the right things to say, but it didn’t change the fact that she still was angry about Severus, even more so as her coach and her left the changeroom, to find him still waiting there, moving towards her. It made her burn with frustration, but Augusta put a hand on her shoulder and led her away. 

She held onto that, that feeling that persisted just as much as Severus himself did. Held onto it in the warm-up room, and on her on ice warm up. She was second to skate but it didn’t phase her like it usually did, she stood with her coach waiting, not finding the need to pace. When it was time for her to take the ice she skated to center ice with her head held high, she was ready to deliver.

And she did. She skated her short with an intensity that had never been there before, a fire that had been missing. Not a jump missed, not a spin or step sequence out of place, she wasn’t leaving any points off the board. She slammed into her final pose, holding it but her serious face breaking into a grin. Completely out of breath she took her bows before leaving the ice to meet her coach. 

They both screamed in the Kiss and Cry. Neither women were ones to vocalize during the K&C, they remained professional and were gracious no matter what the score. However, neither women could help their excitement when they announced Lily’s score, 

“Lily Evans from Great Britain has earned a total of 66.62 and currently sits in first place.”

It was incredible. She could barely believe it when she heard it, practically 5.5 points higher than her previous season’s best. Augusta crushed her in a tight hug, and sure nationals were almost  _always_ overscored but she didn’t care, on cloud nine. The two women watched on the edge of their seats the rest of the women’s short programs until the last girl finished her skate. The final scores put out for the evening, Bellatrix Black in  _ second place,  _ Lily leading the pack by a whole point. They waited until they had left the arena to celebrate with more hugs and what could be described as a delighted high-pitched celebration and  _ “No, not squealing Francis.”  _

The two women got dinner with the ice dancers, who also were the leaders of their event, showering Lily with praise over her skate. They went back to her hotel early, to rest up for the next day's events though sleeping was difficult with the high energy in the room. Lily called her Mum, who would be driving up the next day for the long program, who continued the delighted high-pitch celebrations over the phone. By the end of the night, the redhead had tired herself out through just simply being so happy. She slept easy. 

Waking up didn’t come as easy. Not to say she had trouble pulling herself out of her slumber, it was the opposite, she awoke and her mind hit the ground running. She felt paralyzed in the bed, her limbs unwilling to move, it wasn’t overexertion though it was fear. 

It was all too familiar. A short program performance of a lifetime; moving to the final heat with such expectations, a medal in her grasp. And a long program that ended disastrously, not a single jump landed. Staring at the hotel room ceiling, it felt too close, too real, like she was reliving last year all over again. 

She forced herself out of bed, or rather her coach did, wondering why Lily wasn’t out of bed already. She stared at herself wide-eyed in the mirror as she combed her hair, and starting feeling like she was going to be ill as she got dressed, the feeling remained throughout the rest of the morning. She sat in the stands with her coach, Frank and Alice. Halfway through watching the men's long program she felt herself start to shiver, she pulled her jacket closer to her but it did little to help. She felt her heart pounding in her chest and it  _ hurt _ . She dug her nails into her palms, the large and mostly empty stands starting to feel small around her. She had to get out. 

She quickly stood up, mutter a quick “Be back in a minute,” as she hastily walked down the stands, out into the hall. She blinked, her eyes stinging, the hallways felt too crowded she quickly found her way into the ladies change room, the back of her mind screaming at her not too because it was just like last year and god the humiliation burned because it was true. 

She grabbed her face with her hands, they were shaking now she didn’t know when that started but it needed to stop, it  _ all  _ needed to just stop. It was hard to breathe, so she held her breath, her mouth clenched, all the colour from her lips gone as she sat on the bench of the ladies change room shaking. Every once and awhile gasping for breath, tears rolling down her cheeks. 

She wasn’t sure how long she was there for, she didn’t register Frank in front of her until his hand was on her shoulder. He knelt in front of her, Alice standing behind him. 

“Go get mum,” 

Lily sucked in another shaky breath, holding it.

“Evans hey, look at me-” 

She couldn’t look at him, couldn’t move her head. Her chest burned she didn’t let go of her breath, what if she couldn’t take another one? 

“Lily, look at me, I need you to breathe Lily.” 

Lily hesitated for a moment, still not looking up, before breathing out taking another quick breath in. 

“That’s good, slower this time okay? With me-” 

Lily let the breath out again, following Frank instructions, focusing on his hand on her shoulder, listening to his breath past the sound of her own. 

“Great job, let’s go again alright-”

She squeezed her eyes shut, following his lead, feeling his hand move from her shoulder and she tensed slightly. 

“Lily my dear can you hear me?” Augusta spoke, her voice low. 

Lily nodded but kept her eyes shut.

“I need you to answer some questions, can you do that?” 

Lily nodded again. 

“Where are we right now?” 

Lily opened her mouth to speak but her voice croaked, sputtering half words. 

“Take your time my dear, deep breath through the nose.” 

She followed her coach's instructions, taking a deep as she could breath through her nose, giving herself a moment to answer, “British Nationals, Richmond London.” She said her voice dry. 

“Good, deep breath let your diaphragm expand, does it hurt to breathe?” 

Lily only nodded at that as took another breath in, letting it out quickly. 

“Okay, can you take my hand, my dear.” 

She felt her coach’s hand on top of her own, she nodded maneuvering her hand into the older woman’s, who gave her a squeeze in return. 

“Thank you Lily, can we take another deep breath, slowly this time, if it hurts too much you can squeeze my hand.” 

Lily nodded, Augusta’s voice was louder, no clearer now, her head feeling less muffled. She squeezed her coach’s hand. 

“You’re here, in London, and I’m with you.” Augusta said, a phrase Molly had helped create to ground Lily during an episode, “You’re here and I’m with you.” 

Lily nodded attempting to repeat the phrase but her voice got caught in her throat, she took a quick breath through her nose before beginning to cry again, though this time out of exhaustion, coming down from her panic. Augusta felt this and moved to sit next to her, pulling her into a tight embrace. 

“You’re here and I’m with you.” Her coach repeated. 

Lily cried into her coaches arms until she ran out of tears, Augusta soothing her until she relaxed in her arms. 

“You’re here and I’m with you.” Augusta said again. 

Lily’s breathing was steady, “I’m here,” She said quietly, her voice hoarse, “and you’re with me.” 

They waited until Lily felt well enough to get up, they had to leave the changeroom soon the female pairs skaters would be there any moment. They found a quiet hallway to sit in, Augusta instructing Lily to drink water every few minutes, they spoke quietly, as if not to wake some sleeping being that would attack them if they did. 

Lily leaned against the cool wall, the cold feeling nice against her head, she hesitated before saying quietly, “I’d still like to skate.” 

Augusta immediately countered that it was absolutely not a good idea to be skating right now, that it didn’t matter how well she skated yesterday, she would have just as good performances in the future, it was not a reason to put her health at risk. She continued to list the many, and quite  _ valid  _ reasons why Lily should not be skating today, to which Lily responded,

“I’d still like to skate.” 

Augusta sighed at that and had no response. The silence hung in the air, just the sounds of each women breathing. 

After a long moment, Lily broke the silence, “Do you have any aspirin?” 

Augusta paused, “In the car.” She tutted, “Are you alright to wait?” She asked. 

“I’m not twelve.” Lily murmured. 

Augusta made a face at that, “Don’t get smart all of a sudden,” She said, “I’ll be back in a minute, drink that water.” Her coach said, getting up and walking down the hallway. 

Lily leaned back against the wall, closing her eyes. Taking a deep breath in. She hadn’t had an episode during a competition since her junior days. They happened more often back then, but rarely these days. They left her with headaches, and usually quite exhausted, but she didn’t feel that way right now. She certainly wasn’t bright and energized like she usually was before a performance, but she didn’t feel the need to go take a nap or get caffeinated. She was drifting somewhere in the middle, in some limbo, of awareness and calm. She was overly aware of her body and surroundings, tuning into her sensations, feeling the brisk air kiss her skin and heard each muffled sound. So when she heard the sound of footsteps getting louder she assumed it was Augusta and sat up to look in anticipation. 

It was the other Longbottom though, dressed in his free dance costume, his sports bag over his shoulder, he blinked surprised to see Lily but gave a small smile and walked over. It worried Lily for a moment when it wasn’t Augusta like expected but rested easy seeing it was Frank.  

He sat down next to her placing his bag on the floor next to him with a heavy clunk that must have been his skates, “How are you feeling Evans?” 

Lily shrugged, “Not bad if I’m honest.” 

“Really?” Frank asked though his intonation said he didn’t expect a further explanation on that, which Lily was grateful for. 

“Shouldn’t you be warming up?” Lily asked. 

“Not enjoying my company?” Frank countered with a smile, “Lunch break just started, have another hour before the event even starts.” He said.

Lily nodded at that, that meant there was quite a bit of time before the ladies event. 

“You look like you’re thinking about something,” Frank said.

“I’d like to skate the long.” Lily admitted. 

“Huh” was all the older skater responded, thinking on it. 

“You think I shouldn’t?” Lily asked. 

“I didn’t say that.” 

“Your mum doesn’t think I should,” Lily said. 

“She’s probably right,” Frank admitted, “she usually is.” 

“So you do think I shouldn’t skate,” Lily said leaning back against the wall. 

“I didn’t say that,” Frank said again before pausing, “Do you think you should skate?” He asked.

Lily thought on it for a moment, “I don’t know.” 

“You probably don’t remember, we were juniors at the time,” Frank said leaning forwards against his knees, “Alice used to have some nasty anxiety when it came to performing.” He said, Lily noticed that he talked in the same quiet way that his mother did when he was off the ice. Alice and anxiety had a familiar ring to it, but she couldn’t remember any details. 

“She had it pretty bad, sometimes she would throw up, sometimes it would be a full anxiety attack, but the thing she hated the most was that her hands would shake whenever we got on the ice.” Lily subconsciously grabbed her hands, “We saw two other therapists before we found Molly, she was just starting her Masters back then. The other two gave us a few tips but they never lasted long. Molly helped us figure out why we were skating, and who we were skating for.” He said looking up at Lily, “If we can skate for each other, even on the days when it’s hard to skate for ourselves, then it would be enough.” He said glancing at Lily, “I mean it’s different for you though, you have to be skating for you Lily, and I’m sure Molly’s told you that but right now especially, if you’re going to skate it can’t be for my Mum, or that git Snape, for the scores, medals or even your Mum. It’s got to be about you.” 

Lily nodded looking at Frank, then down at her hands. If she was honest, she didn’t know if skating right now would be for her or not. 

Frank gave her a small smile, “You don’t owe it to anyone,” He said, giving her a firm side hug, patting her arm before standing, “I ought to go warm up, Alice gets a bit antsy when I’m not there on time.” He said with a knowing look, picking up his sports bag, “I’ll see you later Evans.” He said with a smile before heading down the hallway, a moment later Augusta returning with the aspirin. 

Her coach took the spot Frank had vacated, handing her the aspirin, “Have you thought more on it?” She asked, giving her student a bit of a side eye. 

“I have,” Lily nodded before popping the aspirin in her mouth, going for her water bottle. 

“Did you come to a decision?” Augusta prompted. 

Lily simply nodded, downing the water. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again i'm so sorry this chapter took so long, i got really caught up in some other writing but i promise i'm still going at it ! we'll get through this fic lol !  
> also me driving the frank is an older brother notion ? no neverrrrrr  
> also if you like severus snape, and more importantly if you like snily this probably isn't going to be your fav fic, muggle au snape is kinda an ass (this isn't the end of their friendship tho lily too mature for that she a g.o.a.t.)


	8. the european championships, 1977

**Derby, England. Pre-European Figure Skating Championships, 1977.**   


She performed her long program at Nationals. It wasn’t her best performance and it certainly wasn’t her worst. She took the ice, her headache fading in the background just like everything else did when she skated. Her heart pounded in her chest, the ice was tainted from her performance last year, but just yesterday she swept it with her powerful short program so how tainted could it be? She felt her throat tighten as she prepared to enter her first jump, but when her skate hit the ice firmly and she seamlessly landed that first combination, she felt a weight lift off her shoulders. She didn’t notice in the stands her mother screaming along with Frank and Alice at every jump she landed. She missed her lutz, but this skate wasn’t going to be about the scores, it wasn’t going to be about the medals. It was going to be about getting over the hurdle of last year’s failure. 

And she did, she leaped over it into second place, Bellatrix Black pulling it together for the long program slipped past her into gold by a few points. Silver meant that she would be attending the European Championships next month, which was completely unexpected. She was excited, though mostly tired during the medal ceremony, and qualifying for European Champs only meant more pictures. She was posed centre ice on Bellatrix’s left, medals around their necks, flowers in one hand and the other arm around each other. Bellatrix squeezed Lily’s shoulder tightly, almost painfully so and murmured, “Your short was overscored.” before grinning widely for the camera. It completely shocked Lily, she barely managed to smile for the picture. Bellatrix let go of her shoulder looking her up and down, “They’ll eat you alive in Finland.” She said before skating away with a smile, to get a photo with the other gold medalists. 

She didn’t mention the incident to Augusta, she didn’t need to give her coach another thing to worry about. 

Augusta head nearly exploded during Lily’s long program, this time her coach was pacing, not only worried about whether or not Lily would collapse from exhaustion, but worried that Lily would, in fact, choke from the pressure of last year and wouldn’t be able to perform. She was near furious when Lily told her that she would be skating the long program, but Lily reminded her that Lily’s mother had paid the competition fee, so technically it was up to her. Augusta did not like that at all and reminded Lily again, not to get smart with her. 

She was excused from the morning practice the day after they got back, it was New Year's Eve, Lily had a session with Molly booked for what would have been right after practice, and Augusta eventually decided that she should just take a well-needed break and spend some time with her family for once. Her Mother was happy to have Lily for the festivities, Christmas always came so close to Nationals and felt rushed, she needed some relaxed family time. After getting through Nationals it felt like the tension in the house was released, the Evans ladies could breathe easy. Mrs. Evans was just so proud, it had been a long time since she had gotten to see her daughter perform at a competition and it had meant  _ so much,  _ so proud watching her daughter overcome last years nationals. She knew her daughter was strong, she always had been. 

Her brief morning session with Molly was just about how Nationals went, mostly talking about what caused the panic attack, that was easy, she knew the answer to that. When they talked about why Lily chose to skate was another story. She told Molly about her conversation with Frank, about skating for herself. This intrigued Molly, why Lily was skating never had come into question before in their sessions. 

“Do you think that helped?” Molly asked, “I only ask because you’ve never expressed any doubt in what you were doing skating, you’ve always been confident in that. Did the reassurance of who you were doing it for help?” 

“Well I skated didn’t I?” Lily shrugged. 

She could feel the mother in Molly working hard to hold back an eye roll at that, “You did,” She said, “But do you think it really was for you?” She asked when Lily didn’t respond she continued, “It’s alright if it wasn’t, I only ask because I know the stakes were high. Overcoming last years Nationals, you placed first in the short program, you were more than just a podium contender you were a gold contender,  _ and  _ your mum was there.” 

Lily stayed quiet, she didn’t have anything to say, it wasn’t worth repeating everything Molly had just said because of course, she was right. She practically always was. 

“It was a lot of pressure to be under Lily,” Molly said quietly, “I’m very proud of you for handling it the way that you did.” 

Lots of people had been telling her that lately. That they were proud of her and what she overcame. Even the commentator for nationals had brought it up, 

_ “Lily Evans has been through a lot to make it to Nationals this year, while quite a successful season so far, her last appearance here in Richmond ended in tears with a long program that was a bit of a failure to launch.”  _

She rolled her eyes at that, she knew she didn’t cry last year, at least not on camera. 

“Have a Happy New Year Lily.” Molly wished her with a hug on before Lily left her office.

New Year’s Day she sat in the stands with Remus waiting for the Derby Lions game to wrap up. Apparently, it was a team tradition to play a New Year’s Day scrimmage game, Lily rolled her eyes a bit at that, couldn’t they just find some pond to do that on? It certainly was cold enough, though if she was honest she wasn’t itching to get on the ice like she normally was. Remus revealed that he had been roped into watching the broadcast of Nationals by Sirius. He congratulated her on the fantastic skates, and how proud of her and he knew she could do it and how it went off without a hitch. Lily feeling comfortable enough with Remus, and quite frankly was touched that he had tuned in, revealed that it in fact, did  _ not  _ go off without a hitch, with a shrug. She played the incident down, not wanting to seem as though she was pining for attention, even though she knew really that Remus wasn’t some kind of asshole who would accuse her of that. Remus looked a bit sad for a moment before digging through his bag, Lily not sure what on earth he could be looking for, even more puzzled when he pulled out a half eaten bar of chocolate, wrapped in its tin. He snapped a piece off for her, gingerly handing it to her, 

“Anytime I get a bit, exhausted, it usually helps.” 

Lily smiled a bit at that, accepting the chocolate. Remus briefly mentioned his own history with anxiety and panic attacks, but they had nothing to with his sport apparently though she could see how it could have, there was so much yelling in curling and  _ so  _ much of it seemed unnecessary. He didn’t elaborate further on his experiences though, choosing to explain instead that chocolate had chemicals that released endorphins that made your body happy, which probably is why it helped so much. 

Once the game wrapped Remus invited Lily to hang out with the team while they tore down the hockey setup and reset the ice. She bit her lip, unsure if she really wanted to talk with the team, specifically Sirius or even worse Andromeda. 

She could handle talking to a non-skater about her skates, but she wasn’t sure if she had the energy to go into them the way Sirius or the ex-ice dancer probably would want to. She couldn’t picture either of them without thinking about Bellatrix either, which only made her think about what the older girl said to her in London which only made her tense. Besides she wasn’t really in the mood for them to passively rub in the fact that their cousin had beat her again. After she had come down from the shock of seeing Andromeda Black again, she let herself remember why she didn’t like her in the first place. While the conversation she had with her wasn’t unpleasant, she thought back to the years of glares and snide comments towards Frank and Alice, the shunning of King’s Cross Skaters in general, the years of general animosity. She may not be a Walpurgis Skater now, but she had been. And so had Sirius. And she just wasn’t ready to face them, not after the hurricane that nationals was. Remus didn’t question her when she declined with the excuse that she needed to warm up, he simply wished her a good night before heading off to wait for the Lions. She was grateful for him. 

Mary had given her a long enthusiastic hug at the start of practice. She was ecstatic for Lily that she was going to European Champs, it was  _ huge.  _ She asked for all the details of the Nationals, the junior had competed at Junior Nationals earlier that month and  _ swept  _ the competition. She certainly was ready to move up to the big leagues, and she hoped that Mary would be joining her at the early morning practices. She needed someone to have her back at six in the morning. She pestered Lily for the drama, the gossip, Lily providing with some well-needed venting with someone who wasn’t going to analyze her words or worry over how it would affect her skate. 

She complained about Bellatrix, what the Walpurgis girl had said to her during the pictures, how on edge it made her feel about the upcoming meet. About missing her lutz though she didn’t beat herself over it too much given the circumstances. Mostly though she ranted over her fight with Severus. 

She did bite his head off, she could admit that looking back but it wasn’t as if he didn’t deserve it. He held himself on such a high horse, acting as if he knew more about their sport then her, she had had enough. She was tired of letting things go she was  _ tired  _ of being the bigger person and letting it go for the sake of their friendship not fizzling out. 

“And he’s still stopping by?” Mary asked. 

Lily nodded, and he would probably act as though this was all coming from  _ nowhere _ . Like  _ she  _ was the one to blame for their fight. 

Every year for her birthday Severus took the bus down to Derby for Lily’s birthday. He would spend a couple of days with his Aunt, and hang out with Lily while he was here. Sometimes they would see a movie, sometimes just get dinner, sometimes he would even come to practice with her, Augusta didn’t mind having old students visit, once a King’s Cross Skater, always a King’s Cross Skater. Though she wasn’t keen on doing any of those things, let alone skate with him. 

Since Lily would be going to European Championships though, she wouldn’t be in Derby for her birthday. Severus called, though Lily refused to talk to him, her mum taking the message that he would be coming up closer to the beginning of the month, Lily refused to hear any of the details. Holding her ground.

January brought cold weather and snow. Lots and lots of snow. It’s not that Lily didn’t like winter, she just hated not being able to walk outside without her nose turning bright red. Sunday morning her Mother drove her to the rink for practice, and even still just from the walk from the car into the arena her nose felt like it was going to fall off. God, she needed a scarf, or better yet one of those face masks that robbers wore. She let herself warm up from the cold before entering the rink, she wasn’t eager to feel that rink chill that happened before she got moving.

She rubbed her hands together, gloves would be good too she thought as she took the ice, she couldn’t find a pair that kept her hands warm but let her use her hands properly, the ones that did their job were all too bulky for Lily’s liking. She needed more winter accessories in general she thought, her ears feeling still feeling the winter sting. 

It was a Sunday, which meant no sticks for the Derby Lions, all of them decked out in pullovers and sweats that were tucked into their thick hockey socks. 

“Morning Lily!” Ted called out to her as she hit the ice, the rest of the team’s eyes glancing towards her, some of them raising an arm or nodding in greeting. 

“Morning,” She called back, dispensing her things in her new usual spot, the away team bench, before starting some laps out of the sheer need to get warmer. Winter made the rink seem unbearably cold until you were practically sweating.

“God I still feel hungover.” Sirius loudly complained. 

“New years was  _ two  _ nights ago Sirius how could you possibly still be hungover?” Peter quipped back. 

Lily rolled her eyes as she skated past, avoiding Ted as he placed bright cones on the ice for the team’s speed drills. 

Sunday’s meant speed drills for the Derby Lions after James had gotten their sticks banned, and for Lily, it meant jumps and run-throughs of her programs. She managed to avoid Sirius for the entire practice despite him clearly trying to engage her in conversation, she refused to take the bait. As soon as practice had wrapped Lily got off the ice heading for the changerooms. She tore her skates and legwarmers off, switching her pullover for a much less sweaty one she had packed in her sports bag. She slipped into her sneakers, taking a swig from her water bottle walking briskly out of the changeroom, confident she was quick enough that she would have beaten any of the Derby Lions, let alone Sirius and she could escape on the city bus. 

She was floored though when she exited the changeroom to find Sirius Black waiting for her, a big smile on his face. “Evans! I thought I might have missed you!” He exclaimed quickly approaching her. “I didn’t get to tell you how brilliant you were, I really thought you were going to land the gold.” 

Lily was quiet, looking right through Sirius, she was still feeling a bit tender, she wasn’t in the mood for another member of the Black family to tear her down or mock her. 

“Your short just keeps getting better and better, and European Champs! That’s huge Lily!” Sirius babbled on, only just catching the girl’s solemn expression, he looked at her curiously, “Everything alright Evans?” 

“It’s nothing, I’m not in the mood to be mocked that’s all,” Lily said, trying to keep the pettiness out of her voice but certainly gave Sirius a bit of a glare before she walked past him, holding her head high heading for the exit. 

Sirius seemed a bit dumbstruck, looking at the red-head even more confused as she walked past. Snapping out of his stupor he quickly moved to catch up with her, though had trouble towing his heavy hockey bag along with him, “Did I do something?” He called after her, “Lily if I did I’m sorry I didn’t mean to offend you.” 

“I’m  _ sure  _ you didn’t.” 

“Are you pulling my leg?” He asked, his voice sounding genuine which bugged Lily even more. 

“Are you serious right now?” She snapped. 

“Well, currently yes.” He said with a bit of a cheeky grin and a laugh.

Lily sighed, she had walked right into another session of mocking, exactly what she wanted to avoid. She rolled her eyes, knowing the best thing she could do was to ignore him and keep moving, and hopefully, he would become uninterested. 

As she walked away his laughter died down, replaced with confusion again, “Wait, wait, Lily, are  _ you  _ serious?” 

She refused to answer and continued to walk. 

“Lily wait, I thought you were kidding, did I actually do something?” He asked, “Lily would you just  _ wait. _ ” He said a bit frantically. Lily turned to face him, he had abandoned his large hockey bag in favour of catching up to her. 

“Did I do something?” He asked staring straight at her. 

She sighed, “I don’t want to answer, it only feels like you’re mocking me again.” 

“I promise I’m not.” He said, and he  _ did  _ sound sincere. 

She bit her lip, considering for a moment before sighing. It was only going to bug her more, and by it she meant Sirius, he was nothing if not persistent apparently. “I don’t know why you are so interested in my scores, performances-my skating in general.” She said, “If I’m honest it feels like I’m waiting now for you to turn on me any moment now, the minute I start becoming a real threat to your cousin.” She said, deciding she was holding nothing back now she added, “And if I’m honest, I am, and I think you know that too, and I think that makes you nervous.” 

Sirius was quiet for a moment, “I can see how you would think that I suppose.” He said, “But I promise you it’s nothing like that.” 

Lily was skeptical at that, but Sirius continued, “I’m not, I don’t speak to my family anymore.” Which made her blink for a moment, processing what he said. 

“You don’t really just stop skating in my family,” Sirius said Lily shaking her head. Who would throw out their own son simply for stopping figure skating? That would be completely mad.

“You can’t be serious,” She said in disbelief. 

Sirius smiled a bit at that, “I am Sirius.” He said, “But you’re right it wasn’t just that, just I suppose the push they needed. Or I needed. Whatever.” He said stumbling over his words, “Just- I’m not trying to mock you or anything, I miss shop talk is all I suppose.” He admitted, “And I really do want you to win if it means anything.” 

That had been a month ago, and even now thinking back on it made Lily swallow her regret, despite receiving forgiveness from Sirius from her brash accusations. She became much more comfortable though with Sirius, on and off the ice. Sirius beginning to make his way into her after practice hangouts with Remus, Lily ending up seeing him just as much outside of the rink then she did in though but only with Remus. An odd but pleasant little trio and she appreciated having Sirius at practice for the most part, mostly when he wasn’t off with James or Peter. 

_ “Those three are trouble.”  _ Augusta would tut to herself, and her coach was only proved right when Severus made his visit to Derby. 

He arrived at the rink about fifteen minutes into a Wednesday morning practice, European Championships still a decent ways away Augusta allowed him to sit in as long as he wasn’t  _ too  _ much of a distraction. He sat in the stands for all of five minutes before he got up, heading to the Away Team bench, pulling his skates out of his bag. Lacing them up carefully and pulling the guards off and he was on the ice warming up skating laps around the ice. 

Lily bit her lip, not only was she unsure where she and Severus currently stood, she could also feel the glares of the Derby Lions directed towards him, clearly not eager to be sharing their ice with yet another skater. Severus though didn’t help his case, turning up his nose practically every single time he passed  _ any  _ of the hockey players, especially Sirius. 

Lily blinked, remembering that there was a good chance that they knew each other decently well coming from the same skating club.  _ Shit _ . 

She continued though to work as if Severus wasn’t there, practicing her spins pushing herself a bit further then she probably should have, definitely going much longer then she should have, exiting a spin feeling completely nauseated, skating over to the sidelines to her coach, grabbing her water. 

She closed her eyes taking a deep breath, she could hear Severus skate up to her, coming to a stop and standing next to her at the boards. 

“Lily.” 

“Severus.” 

The two skaters refused to look at each other, Lily taking a passive-aggressive sip from her water bottle, standing in silence until Augusta cleared her throat. Both of the skaters looking up a bit startled before glancing at each other. Lily only spared him a moment before she put her water bottle down, and pushed away from the boards. Severus followed, slowly skating behind her. 

Lily still didn’t bother with him, skating off to work on her step sequences. Severus continued to lap the rink, Lily trying not to pay his mopey face any mind though kept glancing out of the corner of her eye. If her coach noticed she fortunately didn’t say anything.

She was working through a sequence when she noticed Severus picking up speed, she nearly fell out of her sequence when she saw him preparing for a jump, her mouth unable to call out to try and stop him, and he took off into the air in what felt like slow motion. Luckily Severus never had very much distance on his jumps, she watched as he plainly avoided but landed near James and Fabian. Practically the second Severus’ blade hit the ice there was the loud blare of a whistle and a mix of yelling from both coaches, the hockey players and a look of confused anger from Severus. 

“What the hell is your problem?” James snapped at Severus. 

“Don’t you know to get out of the way by now?” He said rolling his eyes. 

Hooch was already in Augusta’s face yelling, Lily felt like pulling her hair out. She skated over to the boards, grabbing her skate guards and leaving the ice. She walked out heading for the stands grabbing her water bottle on the way, sitting down putting her chin in her hand waiting for the chaos Severus had caused to die down. She sighed as Severus left the ice, walking towards her looking less then remorseful but at least a bit apologetic. He paused, digging something out of his bag before joining her in the stands, sitting quietly next to her. 

Lily made no movement to say anything, frowning at her coach arguing with Hooch, Ted trying to mediate between the two women. 

“Happy Birthday Lily,” Severus said, holding the small box out to her, “I’m sorry,” He said quietly, “for everything.” He added.

Lily was hesitant to accept the gift, unsure what Severus really was apologizing for, unsure whether or not she wanted to let him get away with apologizing in just four words that didn’t even tell her that he knew what he did. But she was tired, her morning had been completely trainwrecked, she wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to get back on the ice, she would be stuck with him. So she took the small box from Severus. Opening it carefully, blinking when she saw the small delicate pin inside. 

_ A lily.  _

She swallowed back a smile at the gift, it was lovely, she touched it gently with her finger, feeling the cool of the metal, examining the details of her namesake. 

“I really am sorry.” He said to her. 

Lily nodded, taking a deep breath, “I forgive you.” She relented.

They walked around the rink after that, slipping their skates off and their runners on, standing behind the plastic window Lily watched the Derby Lions practice as Severus talked. 

“European Championships.” He said, Lily nodding at that, not feeling like she had much to say on it. 

“Are you going?” She finally asked. 

Severus shook his head, “Maybe next year.” He said. 

“We had two male spots this year didn’t we?” She asked.

“Reg and Barty.” He said, there was clearly an effort made to hide the bitterness when he said Barty’s name. The boy was younger, hadn’t been skating as long, but his father happened to be on the board at the Walpurgis Skating Club. 

Lily nodded at that, “I’m sorry.” She added. 

“It’s fine, I’m sure Reg will get us three spots for next year,” He said. 

She nodded about to say something when there was a loud  _ BANG  _ right next to them, Severus cursing and falling back, tripping over his own feet falling onto his but. Lily catching sight of the puck that had smacked against the window fall, James grinning across the ice, Sirius laughing. 

Severus did not find it quite as funny, standing up furious “What the  _ fuck _ ?” He yelled angrily.

James and Sirius didn’t answer only continued to laugh. 

“Is this fucking funny to you?” He snarled. 

“You know, I’d figured, figure skater, you’d think he’d be more graceful,” James called back. 

“Fuck off I’ll knock you a new one.” 

“Severus!” Augusta snapped, her voice cutting through the rink, “Clean that mouth or out.” 

Lily could see Severus burn at that, he turned his nose up stalking to the stands to retrieve his bag, stomping out of the rink. Lily watching him go with a sigh. 

She turned to James and Sirius, marching to collect her own bag glaring at them, “You are such prats.” She snapped, huffing a bit before heading out after Severus, meeting him in the lobby, having to deal with an angry Sev was not exactly how she wanted to spend her day but here she was. At least things between them seemed to be going back to normal.

That had been at the beginning of January, and now it would be four days before she would be on her way to Finland, her first European Championships, it made her heart pound but mostly with excitement. She didn’t have any expectations for this. She wasn’t going to let Bellatrix intimidate her, she didn’t have anything to prove to the other girl. 

She wasn’t going to let anything get in the way this time. Not her competition, her friends, and especially not herself, nothing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh sorry for literally 21 years of waiting for a chapter ??? this one is so... ugh idk i feels really juvenile, im just ready to start writing the next season im going to try and wrap this one in the next chapter  
> (im about to move so i havent really had too much time to write, thank you guys so much for sticking with me though! i cant wait for the later chapters, get some of those juicy olympic chapters, frank/alice and like e v e n t u a l l y some james/lily)


	9. world championships, 1977

**Derby, England. Post-World Championships, 1977**

The best part of European Championships was spending her birthday in Finland. 

Initially she was disappointed, to be away from Derby for her birthday. It wasn’t the first time it had happened and it wouldn’t be the last, but she loved spending her birthday with her family. The night before they would stay up until midnight, and once it was officially her birthday they would eat birthday cake. It was more fun when she was a child, when it was Mum, Dad, ‘Tuney and her. Their numbers had slowly decreased until it was just Mum and her. It still was special to her though, and it bummed her out that she wouldn’t be there for it that year. 

She mentioned it to Peter one morning at practice, Sirius and James nearby though more interested in whatever stupid thing they were snickering about. 

“Your mum lets you have sweets  _ at midnight? _ ” was all Peter could focus on. 

So when she arrived in Helsinki she was only a  _ bit  _ grumpy. 

But on the morning of January 30th she awoke to an ambush by Frank and Alice practically jumping on her bed. Augusta nowhere to be found, the obvious answer to how they got into her hotel room- the King’s Cross Skaters and Walpurgis Skating Club both staying at the same hotel wasn’t necessarily a  _ rare  _ occurrence,  but not really a common one either. She could think back to their days as juniors, when it would be Alice, Mary, Dorcas and her irresponsibly staying up into the early hours during competition weekends- they could never sleep anyways back then, the nerves the excitement kept their minds awake. The times that Frank would be granted permission to enter the girls room (it happened more often than not, especially once Kingsley and Dorcas had moved to switch clubs and Frank was left alone in the boys room).  So when she was greeted to Alice and Frank’s excited faces she thought for a moment she was dreaming, or perhaps transported back to a time where her skating family was together, and competitions really were just for fun. 

Frank was pestering her, “Get up, get up, get up-” while Alice giggled overlapping him with, “Don’t shake her so hard- come on Lily!” 

Lily tried to push the sleep out of her eyes, Frank switched the bedside lamp on and she winced, the light stinging her eyes. 

“Give her the box!” Alice said eagerly. 

“What’s going on?” Lily finally managed to ask through the chaos. 

The ice dancers glanced at each other, “It’s your birthday!” Alice smiled. 

“Don’t you have to be on the ice today?” Lily asked.

“Don’t be  _ silly _ Lily, it’s just practice.” Alice said, which surprised Lily, she knew the ice dancers took every part of the competition seriously, they had their routine set in stone. “Your birthday is more important.” Alice continued, and  _ oh _ , she couldn’t help but smile at that. 

“Give her the box!” Alice said again excitedly, smacking Frank in the arm,  _ hard.  _

“Alright! Alright!  _ Christ  _ Al, watch it.” Frank said back narrowing his eyes at her, but he had a grin that couldn’t leave his face if it tried. He turned back behind him, grabbing a parcel off the bed. Lily was now sitting up, leaning against the backboard of the bed, Alice sitting on her knees, smiling in anticipation. Frank placed the messily wrapped box on Lily’s lap. 

Lily took a moment to examine the wrapping, it had Alice all over it. 

“Oh just open it!” Alice urged her, nearly jumping off her knees. 

Lily laughed at that before tearing into the paper, there was a lot of excess paper and  _ a lot  _ of tape which made it only a little bit difficult to get to the box underneath. She carefully removed the lid, finding an array of knit items inside. 

“Mum did the gloves, I did the headband, and  _ Al  _ did the scarf.” Frank notated, with a teasing tone as he mentioned the scarf, earning a hard elbow jab to the arm yet again, Frank giving an overdramatic wince, “And it’s  _ very  _ beautiful.” 

Lily smiled big, the gloves by Augusta were by far the most professional looking, with perfect and precise stitches. the gloves thin but warm, made from a beautiful yarn that consisted of a weaving of multiple colours, oranges, yellows and blues. Frank’s headband was made out of a similar yarn to the gloves, the same colour scheme but a thicker softer texture. Clean stitches that mimicked his mothers, the headband with a cute twist at the front, perfect for practice.

_ And the scarf… _

Just like the wrapping paper it had Alice all over it. Made out of the thickest yarn but also the softest and warmest, it was a shimmery gray, almost silver. With variety in the stitch types, some very tight and some loose, and some plain wrong and hidden amongst the rest. It was perfect, and she told them this.

It all was perfect. They both beamed at that, Alice lunged forwards pulling Lily into a tight hug. “We love you Lily.” She murmured, “Happy birthday, and congratulations on your first European Championship.” 

The competition itself didn’t go quite as well. Now seventeen years old, Lily was still just on the younger side of figure skaters, most skaters retiring during their mid-twenties, or after an Olympics, and the Olympics being last year left a large gap for the younger skaters to step up and fill, which Augusta partially attested to the good season they had been having so far. However for European Championships it seemed that many of the skaters returned, it wasn’t uncommon, the desire for your final skate to be home home soil and in a familiar competition like the European Championships, it held a little more weight for some, to finish at a comp where they started, where they had found their glory time and time again. It was a feeling shared by many apparently this year, an influx of senior skaters pushed not just Lily out of the running for medals, but Bellatrix as well. 

If she was honest though she didn’t mind. She skated well, she felt excited to be at her first European Championships, and she was too busy spending time with her skating family. Frank and Alice ambushing her whenever they could, joining her for dinner with Augusta, quality time off the ice with her coach was nice too, and she even had lunch with Severus later in the weekend. It was a perfect bubble, and when she arrived home, back in Derby in the early hours, she tiptoed into her house, finding a frosted cake a small note beside it that read

_ For Breakfast,  _

_ Happy Birthday my Lily  _ _ ♡ _

Soon after though it was straight back into training. World Championships were in March, they had just February to prepare. February was all business, no playing around. She couldn’t wait to get to Tokyo, and she knew that this year she would be better than placing ninth. It wasn’t enough anymore just to skate in the final heat, she wanted to be at the top of the pack. And so February she worked hard, anytime she wasn’t on the ice she was training off-ice, early morning runs with her gloves, headband and scarf to protect her from the cool winter air. Strength training, she wanted more power to her jumps, more speed. More cardio at night, jumping rope in the living room with the television on in the background. 

When World Championships finally came Lily was on her last legs of energy. This was the final stretch, and the rush of being in Japan, being in the gorgeous rink was just the adrenaline bump she needed. 

She beat Bellatrix in the short program again but more importantly she surpassed her season’s best,  _ 64.11  _ points, and while it only put her fifth overall after the short dances, it still filled her with immense pride. For Lily World’s still wasn’t really about landing on the podium, it was about giving the best skate of the season. 

For Alice and Frank though there was pride on the line. The first ever Ice Dance Olympic Champions, last years World Champions, there was something to prove and a title to protect. Their short program was executed without any fail, though only a point above their season’s best, and it was clear that Frank was in pain by the end of the routine (at least to Lily and Augusta). But it didn’t stop the surprise that they felt when the American’s pulled ahead, by  _ a lot.  _ She remembers catching Alice sitting in the hallway with a frustrated Frank, hands in his hair breathing deeply through his nose, Viktor having gone to fetch more ice packs. A scene that felt too familiar to her. 

She couldn’t imagine what it would be like, for either of them. Frank not being able to compete, to perform to the fullest of his ability, at a time where his career was at such a high to be dragged down by the weight of his health. Alice to stand by, to feel so helpless because what could they do? 

And selfishly Lily thought again, she was glad to be a singles skater. 

She hated herself for thinking that the minute the thought entered her head but she couldn’t help but think it. As horrible as the thought was, and she knew Alice would never abandon Frank but it’d happened before. People dropped their partners all the time, for worse reasons too. She let herself worry for a moment what would happen if it got worse- if Frank wouldn’t be able to skate anymore, what would happen then? Alice probably would stop skating too. She couldn’t even imagine Alice skating with anyone else, she probably  _ couldn’t _ skate with anyone else. 

And that was the reason that terrible thought entered her head, she would hate for her fate to be determined by someone else, she couldn’t deny that. 

When the long programs came they were filled with a drive. Frank and Alice took the ice and skated Carmen with a new fire, the stakes had been raised. The acting through the program was elevated, the anger in Frank’s face, in his  _ eyes  _ felt too real, too raw. She could have sworn she saw their lips actually touch in one of their lifts but she wasn’t sure. Every time she watched them perform Carmen it seemed to elevate more and more, the intensity and emotion behind the program. They finished their program to thunderous applause from the arena. A standing ovation, flowers were thrown onto the ice, Frank taking Alice’s hand and raising it high as young Japanese skaters collected the flowers. Not just a season’s best, a world record. They jumped from third to first, just like that, and the gauntlet had been thrown down to the Americans. 

She didn’t think the Americans would reach down to pick it up. 

But right after Frank and Alice left the ice, right after they broke the ice dance long program world record, the Americans took the ice and proceeded to break the world record that had been set no more than minutes before them. 

Needless to say, they were crushed. Frank, always the more expressive of the two allowed himself the smallest moment of scowling before the medal ceremony, before putting on his best smile looking gracious on the podium. Alice next to him smiling too, she hadn’t stopped since the long program, she had always been much better than Frank at keeping up appearances, though Lily could see as she stood on the podium the frustration behind her eyes. They both wore masks, it was more apparent to Lily now that she wasn’t around them practically 24/7, both of them dedicated to their on-ice persona’s when they were anywhere  _ near  _ a rink. She wondered if she had one, she couldn’t really tell. 

But with that, the season was over. Sure she still had a bit of ice time left, and some off-ice training regimens to keep up, but there were no more competitions to work towards, no more scores to overanalyze, no more programs to drill. 

She could finally let go of the breath she didn’t realize she had been holding all season. 

She was glad to be back in Derby, it was bittersweet though, to be hanging up her costumes for the final time, she really did love her costumes this year. When she arrived at the rink for the first time since World’s she was met with happy congratulations from Sirius and Peter though James was nowhere to be found.

“Banned.” Peter managed to get out through his fits of giggling.

“Banned?” Lily questioned. 

“Potter’s got a potty mouth.” Sirius snickered. 

“Potty mouth?” And it was too much for the two to take, bursting out in full laughter, doubling over. 

_ Useless _ . The two left Lily rolling her eyes, beginning to skate away, Ted skating up alongside her, explaining the absence of James. 

“A fractured wrist, happened during practice but of course that didn’t stop James at first from coming to the rink.” He explained, “And during games he would sit ice-side during games and well, I suppose you know how, well,  _ passionate  _ he can be.” 

Lily nodded beginning to understand. 

And so, Ted continued to explain, eventually one of the parents from an away team complained, Potter was issued an arena ban until he was ready to be back on the ice with a clean mouth.

She had to admit it  _ was  _ a bit funny. Served him right, the _potty_ mouth. 

By the end of practice Lily wasn’t quite ready to go home, trailing along to help Ted clean up the cones the team used for their speed drills, stacking them by the boards when Gideon skated up to her. 

“Evans, I know it’s short notice but what might you be doing this coming Friday?” He asked, leaning against the boards.

Lily instantly flushed for a moment, caught off guard by Gideon’s forwardness. “I um-”

“My sister is scrambling for a sitter, she wants to be able to make the final game of the season.” 

_ Oh.  _ She isn’t quite sure if it’s relief or disappointment she feels that he wasn’t asking her on a date, though probably relief, “I shouldn’t be busy!” She said hurriedly, hoping that Gideon didn’t catch her confusion. 

“Great, I’ll grab you the details in the lobby if you’re willing to wait.” He said, Lily nodding enthusiastically. 

And so that Friday Lily prepared herself to babysit the Prewett boy’s nephews, (rather than a date with Gideon).

The snow had mostly melted though it was still brisk for early March. However Lily got her bike out of the garage and peddled towards the address that Gideon had written down for her.=

As she pulled up to the house she noticed a familiar car in the drive, perhaps it was one of the twins but he had mentioned that she would probably be meeting with Arthur, his sister’s husband. 

And that was who opened the door, a frazzled copper skinned man dressed in some kind of uniform that Lily wasn’t sure where she recognized from until it clicked- the DMAG, Derby Museum and Art Gallery. 

He blinked at her, “Hello,” He said confused, “What can I help you with?” He asked her as a young boy screamed somewhere in the back of the house.

“My name’s Lily, a friend of Gideon and Fabian’s, he told me you were looking for a sitter today.” 

Arthur still looked at her, puzzled, though clearly didn’t have too much time to consider and fearing being rude invited her in. 

And as Lily entered the source of the screaming bounded into the room, squealing as ran behind his father- being chased by-

“Potter?” Lily said, her eyes wide and mouth agape.

James previously giggling chasing the younger boy stood up straight, just as shocked as the redhead “Lily?” 

“The boys didn’t mention that he was sending a duo, the rate we pay stays the same I’m afraid, I’m sorry we can’t offer you anymore-“ 

Lily opened her mouth, beginning to correct Arthur but James quickly interjected.

“Really Arthur it’s no trouble.”

Arthur looked a bit relieved, grabbing his jacket, “Numbers are on the fridge, dinner in the freezer with instructions on the counter, Molly should be back ‘round nine I imagine.” He said opening the door, “Thanks again.” He said before quickly heading off. 

As soon as the door shut Lily quickly turned to James, “What are you doing here?” 

“Funnily enough I was going to ask you the same thing.” James said though seemed more preoccupied on where the small boy had run off to. 

“Gideon asked me to babysit for his sister.” 

“And Fab asked me.” James said, “Whatever it’s fine you can just go home.” He said dismissively before making his way down the hallway, leaving Lily by the door.

She hesitated, she could just go home, she certainly had better things to do on a Friday night, didn’t she? Well, maybe not, but she would find something to busy herself with. But she thought of the idea of leaving James Potter as the sole caretaker of two children and it just didn’t sit well. And she told Gideon that she would look after his nephews so that’s just what she would do. 

If she was anything it was a woman of her word. 

Besides she didn’t need anything on her conscience least James burned the place down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> h a h a h a wow that took way too long   
> tbh this is a lot shorter then my usual chapters but i just decided to post what i had for this one cause i am still interested in continuing this story i am just, ugh swamped in school work rn ! 
> 
> so if anyone is still reading tysm for sticking with it, im sorry for the wait !


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